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Morrissey Completes the ‘War and Peace’ of Rock Autobiographies


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By all accounts, Morrissey seems like a genuinely interesting guy. From his celibacy to his stance on animal rights to his absolute refusal to reunite the Smiths, there's always something thought-provoking packed into the British singer's words. But is he 660 pages worth of interesting? We're about to find out. Morrissey revealed to BBC Radio 4 that he has finished working on his autobiography, and by the time he put the pen down, it was 660 pages long. That's like the size of a small city's Yellow Pages.

"I've been through the whole life in many ways and I just wonder if 660 pages are too much for people to bear," Morrissey said (via NME). "And then I sit down and think, well, are six pages too much for people to bear? I really don't know. I'm trimming." The trimming stages better come with an axe. Morrissey plans on releasing his life story within the year.

At 660 pages, we just hope Morrissey discusses the logic behind one of the worst lyrics of all time. From "How Soon is Now?": "So you go, and you stand on your own. And you leave on your own. And you go home. And you cry. And you want to die." We must know the thought process behind that gem.

So how does Morrissey's Magna Carta stack up page-wise against other rockers' autobiographies? The Amp went into the trenches -- -- to find out. The following are the page counts listed upon each book's initial hard cover release:

Keith Richards' Life: 564 pages
Anthony Kiedis' Scar Tissue: 480 pages
Slash's Slash: 480 pages
Nikki Sixx's The Heroin Diaries: 432 pages
Mötley Crüe's The Dirt: 431 pages
Brian Eno's A Year with Swollen Appendices: 424 pages
George Harrison's I Me Mine: 400 pages
Billy Joel's nixed The Book of Joel: 368 pages
Jay-Z's Decoded: 336 pages
Duff McKagan's It's So Easy (And Other Lies): 304 pages
Bob Dylan's Chronicles: Volume One: 293 pages
Marilyn Manson's The Long Hard Road Out of Hell: 288 pages
Sammy Hagar's Red: My Uncensored Life in Rock: 256 pages
Justin Bieber's First Step 2 Forever: My Story: 240 pages
Eminem's The Way I Am: 208 pages

As you can see, Keith Richards' life story comes the closest to being as riveting as Morrissey's, but Morrissey's is still 96 pages more interesting than the eternal Richards. Morrissey also had almost twice as much to say about himself as Jay-Z did, and over triple what Eminem included into his own autobiography. It's interesting to note that Bob Dylan, the artist who perhaps had the most to say in his music, was among those with the least to write about. However, that was just Volume One of Dylan's life.

[Photo: Ron Galella, Ltd./]

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