Framed

Adam Lambert, Framed

Framed

Hello to readers from near and far, and welcome to Framed, the music blog that's much more than a music blog! We're glad you came by!

This week, we continue to look ahead to the ninth season of the impossibly great American Idol  by spotlighting another of their also-rans. Last week, it was Jason Castro, and this week it's Adam Lambert, the guy who looked like a shoo-in last year. Even though he lost out to Kris Allen, let us be the first to predict that Adam will have a long and lucrative career!

We're pleased to be featuring Adam's first video, "Time For Miracles," from the new megahit action movie, 2012. The movie appears to be about the end of the world--pencil in December of that year, apocalypse fans!--but the song is all about not giving up on love. We're sure you'll agree that it's quite a showcase for the talented Lambert.

Readers, we welcome your input. Is Adam Lambert the greatest vocal talent that Idol has given us? In fact, shouldn't he have actually won last year? Is it possible that the results were fixed by a cabal of cigar-smoking fat cats who care nothing for democracy? And, if so, would this be the first time?

All things to consider! 

Important blog note! You may recall that, way back at the beginning of the year, Framed decided to "make a difference" by bringing our blog--Framed!--into the classroom. We listed some discussion topics for teachers and students, based on Framed itself, the rationale being that it would encourage computer literacy, help young minds hone their critical thinking, and, frankly, be a laugh riot.

Well, we're happy to report that "Framed 101" has been a massive success, and teachers from Miami to Honolulu have begged us to expand on our program. And Framed, being all about the kids, of course, is happy to oblige!

So--as Paris Hilton once said in this very blog--students, take out your #2 pencils, and get to work on these very challenging activities!

Activities for young people

1. Discuss how these literary devices lend humor to Framed: A. Irony. B. Wordplay. C. Hyperbole. D. Non Sequitur. E. A fish.

2. Framed often features religious-themed captions. Do you think Framed goes to church/mosque/temple (choose one) every week or is Framed going straight to hell? 

3. Do you personally know anyone who has actually died reading Framed? Was it because it's so funny or was there a pre-existing condition?

4. Snap a few pictures of your teacher, download them, and write your own funny captions! Hint: Physical flaws and speculation about his or her private life are "fair game!"

5. In lieu of doing your homework, go back and read every installment of Framed and regale the class with some of the many, very funny captions. Which of these words is closest in meaning to "lieu?": A. Honor. B. Stead. C. Anticipation. D. Praise. E. A fish.

 

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1 -- "But how can evolution be a secular hoax and conform with molecular biology at the same time? Think, Lambert, think!"

 

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2 -- "You know, you're kind of hot."

 

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3 -- "I see things in Iraq have calmed down, making our pre-emptive war here well worth it!"

 

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4 -- "But Hulk not want to turn back into Banner!"

 

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5 -- In a hilarious mix-up, it turns out the aliens attacked because they thought we might be too smart!

 

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6 -- "Flee! Kara DioGuardi is about to render her opinion!"

 

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7 -- Adam's prayer for equal rights caught God's interest when the wily singer pointed out that abortion would absolutely be a non-issue!

 

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8-- "I probably could've won that silly contest had I revealed that my teeth emit light in the near ultraviolet!"

 

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9 -- "The hell with the Island! Let's get to the Carrie Prejean sex tape posthaste!"

 

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10 -- Southern California...it's not just about the sunshine anymore!

 

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11 -- Idol is now broadcast to over 100 different countries and a bunch of other dimensions, too!

 

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12 -- "C'mon, folks! Even though Gummo shrank us, we're still more than a match for that rubber tree plant!"

 

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