We don't often talk about business here--Framed is a humor/music video analysis blog, after all!--but we have to tell you readers about recent goings-on.
Last Tuesday, while lunching at chef Hiroyuki Urasawa's Beverly Hills eatery--our meal being comprised of organic ingredients from the world's coldest pristine waters--we were unexpectedly joined by Sumner Redstone, of the Redstone family. They are, of course, majority owners in CBS, Viacom, MTV, BET, Paramount, and DreamWorks.
"Sumner," we said, standing, just to be polite. Sumner is 86 years old, after all.
"Framed," he nodded. "It's been too long. Please, please, sit." We did.
"Framed," he began, in the sonorous tones we know so well. "How much is Bartz paying you?" He referred to Carol Bartz, CEO of Yahoo!, our employer.
"Fifty eight cents a caption, Sumner, although you surely knew that," we replied. "Pretty much seven bucks a week." (It's actually a little more, but we didn't want to completely show our hand.)
"I can pay you more, my boy," he said. "I'm prepared to give you a four-year, $23 million dollar contract to move Framed to MTV.com." He paused and fiddled with his designer cufflinks.
"Mister Redstone," we said, throwing our napkin on the table. "You underestimate us, and you underestimate Yahoo! Our work isn't about financial recompense! Our work is about over-the-top hilarious captions, captions so funny that, often, people choke and die while simply reading them!"
"I understand, my boy, I understand," he replied, soothingly. And then, standing up to leave: "You are artistes.
"Five years. $33 million. You should discuss it with that Bubble of yours. Think about it."
And so we are, readers. We are. More later.
Important blog note! If there's one country we love, it's America, and if there's one type of music we love more than our country, it's country! That's why, this week, we're pleased as punch to bring in Billy Currington, who actually describes, in tune, how country boys "roll."
Billy, a Georgian by birth and inclination, released his first album in 2003, and has placed seven singles in Billboard's Country Top 10 chart during his career. His biggest hit may well be "People Are Crazy," an '08 tune that wisely states "God is great, beer is good / And people are crazy."
It's funny 'cause it's true! God bless you, Billy Currington!
This week's video is from the same LP, Little Bit Of Everything, and--like "Crazy"--has hit #1 on the country charts. The video is a delightful romp that shows Billy live onstage, and then just being a country boy, rolling like they do. They also seem to be out on the boat quite a bit.
As always, our captions are funnier than anything, 'cause that's how Framed rolls! We invite your comments, but ask that you try to make at least a little bit of sense. We'll be back next week to give it our all, just because!
1 -- Billy is one of the few musicians who's picked up the ten pin from onstage!
2 -- "Please accept my apology for the 15,000-year-long enslavement of your people. Now, who wants a treat?"
3 -- In some parallel world, Framed actually ran out of "Lost"-related captions about going back to the Island, and then all the people killed themselves!
4 -- "'Dad, Flipper seems moody,' he says. 'Dad, Flipper doesn't wanna play,' he says. I don't see where I'm living in a world of such bleeping wonder."
5 -- Billy searched in vain, but his best chum was now lost forever.
6 -- "But can I even escape Hose-O in the ocean, when he, himself, is a living snorkel??"
7 -- "Of course we can overturn federal law by simply signing an online petition. That's how the Founding Fathers rolled."
8 -- "C'mon. Tell me again how you got your kite tangled up there."
9 -- "Arms control? But how can we defend our freedom without destroying all life on Earth thousands of times over?"
10 -- "Nope. No sign of Flipper, or even another caption about Flipper. Move out, men."
11 -- "I don't get it. Why is his heart 'achy-breaky,' instead of the grammatically correct 'aching, breaking?'"
12 -- And, by the time the video turned into a beer commercial, it was--tragically--too late!
- Sumner Redstone