Framed - Archives

Gwyneth Paltrow, Framed

Framed

The big news in entertainment--outside of Bristol Palin absolutely owning Dancing With The Stars--is that Gwyneth Paltrow will be playing a washed-up, alcoholic country music star in Country Strong, a movie set to debut in January of 2011.

Like most actors, Gwyneth would be a kick-ass, trailblazing musician if she were so inclined, and this week she proves it with the video for the movie's title track. (Readers may have also caught her performing the tune at the CMA Awards a week or so back.) The song is all about how a person can be ground down by the pitiless system, kicked in the teeth and so on, but emerge intact on the other end because they're "country strong."

Yes, it's a delightful fantasy. 

Gwyneth, of course, is married to Coldplay fellow Chris Martin, who is a distinguished rock singer/Radiohead wannabe. We imagine their relationship did much to inform Gwyneth in her new role. Like us, Chris and Gwyn are into yoga, vegetarianism, and bitter, irony-filled observations that solve nothing but do turn a quick buck.

Important blog note #1!  Leave it to good ol' Ronson to crack us up! His caption (well, part of his caption) to one of last week's frames was much better than what we came up with! This would've happened in a perfect world:

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"Yo, these shoes are whack, ya'll!"

Robert, beware!

Important blog note #2! Meanwhile, the reaction to new captioneer Robert seemed to be mixed, and readers generally seemed disinterested in guessing which caption he wrote. However, one regular reader--Dave DiMartino--did correctly guess that Robert wrote caption #4 last week. So Dave will be receiving the $500 first prize. Way to go, reader! Enjoy that extra spending money, yours courtesy of Framed!

We'll have Robert back next week, and you'll surely want to be here for that. In the meanwhile, please enjoy this week's video and captions!

 

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1 -- "Be careful over there, Ms. Paltrow. That there's where some dog went."

 

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2 -- The angry, grassroots Tea Partiers demanded that insurance companies continue to be exempt from the Sherman Antitrust Act. 

 

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3-- Hey, all the other musicians are doing it! 

 

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4 -- Patterned after Gotham's famed Bat-Signal, it summoned Gwyn whenever a heartfelt country statement was needed!

 

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5 -- "But I don't know who was in the kitchen with Dinah! I swear it!"

 

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6 -- "It's a good song, but wouldn't it make more sense if some of the things weren't yellow? I'm just saying."

 

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7 -- "This is the worst mirror ever!"

 

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8 -- "Yeah, you, cowboy! If you didn't move my big rubber tree plant, who the hell did?"

 

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9 -- "Jesus.  If it means that much to you, I'll make the damn bed."

 

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10 -- "By Odin's beard, I haven't power enow to defeat the alien mechanism just to my left, the reader's right. Where is Brave Balder? Where are Wall and Cleavage Girls?"

 

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11 -- "Just remember, Gwyn. You might've lost, but you did break Frazier's jaw."

 

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12 -- "I must leave you now, Earth! And though my journey to the wind-swept worlds of Polaris is sure to be harrowing, I shall return with even more preposterous names for children! I promise!"

 

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