Framed

Sammy Hagar, Framed

Framed

Sammy Hagar is one of our longest-lived and best-loved rockers. From his early days in Montrose to his glory years in Van Halen, and all the solo years in between and after, he's stayed in the limelight--or somewhere near it--for almost 40 years now. This despite the fact that we can't think of a single career highlight to ballyhoo and are actually too disinterested to cut-and-paste something out of Wikipedia.

Well, it's a good thing Framed is more of a caption resource than a history resource, huh? Hey, we just remembered that Sammy did do "Can't Drive 55," perhaps our rockin'est rejection of a legislated speed limit ever.  And he was at the nexus of the "David Lee vs. Sammy" controversy that nearly brought a great country to its knees. So let's not underestimate him.

Readers will be delighted to know that, post-Halen, Sammy has simply kept on rockin', and we're happy this week to be featuring "Cosmic Universal Fashion," one of his solo songs from 2008. Is it any good? We have no idea! Control-freak Sammy has put so many captions of his own into the video that we're only left with a vague impression that he may be some sort of big thinker. 

Framed, of course, actually is a big thinker, so we'll take it from here with professionally written and expertly-edited captions, although we're just kidding about the expert editing.

But we hope you enjoy this week's blog and revisit us next week, when we feature a cutting-edge talent of inestimable greatness.

Us!

 

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1 -- Few were surprised when the socialist President began providing a hay entitlement to all the Bovine Americans.

 

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2 -- "I did not have sex with that woman. I mean, have you seen Hillary in a pantsuit?"

 

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3 -- "Just think, honey. In the future, there will be many channels on TV. Five, maybe six."

 

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4 -- "Mohammed? Oh, sure; he's around here somewhere. I saw him awhile ago with a number of virgins I can only describe as truly startling."

 

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5 -- They would grow up to post on Framed lol.

 

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6 -- "Hoist that flag, men. It seems unlikely that some unknown writer of the future would cheapen this moment yet again, and purely for monetary gain!"

 

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7 -- Let's face it. Cow Heaven really is the shabbiest of heavens.

 

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8 -- "And here, to be frank, I'm speaking of my ridiculous perm. Have you ever?"

 

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9 -- "And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you, ask why your country cannot manufacture giant robots who can see the future."

 

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10 -- "Listen, Sam, I'm pretty sure I dropped my massive Van Halen royalty check--larger than your own, because I was in the real Van Halen--around here somewhere."

 

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11 -- "Holy bleep! This is Framed! We're not only over-dressed, we're over smart!"

 

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12 -- Gummo, The Sentient Bubble (left) and his twin brother, Joe, concluding that Sammy Hagar was the apex of this experiment, finally decided to simply start the universe all over again!

 

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