Framed

Travie McCoy, Framed

Framed

We admit that, sometimes, we want to be a billionaire so freaking bad. How about you, readers? Is this something that interests you?

If so, you have something in common with this week's featured star, Travie McCoy. Last month, he released the first single off of his debut solo LP, Lazarus, and it was titled "Billionaire." It's about his wish to be in a whole new tax bracket, play basketball with the President, and hang out with Oprah. And who among us would deny Travie his dream?

Not us, that's for sure. The last time we looked, the song was #4 in Billboard's Top 100, so Travie's on his way. The publicity of being in Framed, of course, will only add fuel to his unstoppable momentum...and, hey, we're glad to help out, Travie.

He's joined in both the song and the video by singer-songwriter Bruno Mars, and we have to admit that it's a pretty mellow tune. Please enjoy everything about this week's blog, and we cordially invite you back for next week, when Framed continues to amaze and confound!

Important blog note! We're withholding our practice of honoring a reader's caption this week. Frankly, we felt your suggestions last week weren't good enough. We felt the same way about most of our own captions, too, so don't get all whatever on us.

Maybe funny caption writing is harder than we thought. Or maybe that was just a lousy video. Well, we're not quitting and neither should you! Come on, readers, and give it a good shot. We're on your side! Or--if you just want to mock this week's video, our captions, or Y! Music's unchangeable Top 100 videos chart--that's OK, too!

Everybody wins!

Another important blog note!  It's no secret that times are tough in today's economy. For example, we had gotten used to drinking on the music industry's dime, but, lately, that well's run dry. On top of that, our cruel capitalist overlords at Y! Music refuse to renegotiate our contract, the one written by their legal sharpies.

With our back to the wall, then, we have to tell you, the readers, that Framed has been forced into accepting outside advertising. This is something we've resisted for years, and we assure you that it wasn't a decision we made quickly or lightly. We have screened all potential advertisers to make sure they weren't into porn and stuff. We quickly rejected questionable and "fly-by-night" advertisers. Finally, we examined, in great depth, how this might affect our captions.

And here we can report good news: we believe that our new policy will have absolutely minimal impact on our captions. We know that readers have come to expect a rugged philosophical independence in that area, and we assure you that our intensive study indicates that few, if any, captions will be impacted by our new policy.

Once again, we thank you for your readership, and vow to keep Framed the last bastion of Americanism in America!

 

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1 -- "I could easily write a prize-winning jingle if I could only figure out what kinds of kids loved Armour hot dogs."

 

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2 -- "Will write captions for food"? Hey, we will, too! Well, booze, anyway.

 

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3 -- A crocodile! No, a cross between a crocodile and a unicorn! No, a crocodile whose eye is below his mouth! Something!

 

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4 -- "A yellow card? Dude, this isn't soccer. You can't give me a yellow card in real life."

 

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5 -- This year's huffer harvest was bountiful, indeed!

 

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6 -- "Well, yeah. In retrospect, trying to defeat that beehive with the right side of my face may have been, as you suggest, 'ill-advised.'"

 

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7 -- "I'm a moron, and Windows 7 was my idea."

 

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8 -- "I'm glad we agree that the big government, socialist policies of Barack Obama and Barbara Boxer threaten hip-hop itself! Let's tell all the voters about Carly Fiorina's unparalleled record of job creation!"

 

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9 -- "Ohmigosh! I'm gonna hit that wall! But...is that a girl in front of it, positioned as if to save me?"

 

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10 -- Hose-o continued his insidious search for other, like-minded hoses. Nope, none in the cup.

 

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11 -- And just then, the girls had an idea!

 

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12 -- "The new Jack In The Box Deli Trio sandwiches! It ain't nothin' but a party now!"

 

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