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Five Breakup Songs

List Of The Day

When you just don't have the words to say it...Honey, I'd rather you not be here...it's time to find a song that does it for you. Sometimes love has an expiration date. It's like milk, it goes bad, and much quicker if you don't keep it refrigerated. Sadly, too many of us leave our relationships on the counter overnight and must face the consequences of our negligent actions. If you're one of those people, you might want to consider condensed milk. It stores much longer and is great in emergencies. How this relates to love? I'm no Dr. Phil. I just make the bad analogies and metaphors, I don't solve other people's problems.

"Breaking Us In Two"--Joe Jackson: You can tell this song is sad because the piano sounds like it's dying. Lots of slow, descending notes, the singer sounds tired and the beat never picks up. Nope. This is about how getting it over with never seems to be over with. One of life's annoyances. Like how the towels never seem to dry on the first cycle and always take two, sometimes three tries to get done. Life's tough.

"Never Talking To You Again"--Husker Du: In this song the singer lets us know he's never talking to his boy or girlfriend ever again. Of course, it's arguable that by announcing that he's never talking to him or her again, he's actually talking to him or her, and, therefore, invalidating the sentiment of the song. Which thankfully doesn't invalidate the song because in the end songs don't have to make sense. You just have to be able to hum them.

"Love Will Tear Us Apart"--Joy Division: Ah, whenever you need a little uplift you can always count on those cheery Manchester blokes, Joy Division! Yes, you can hear it in the air tonight, things will be swingingly great! If only love didn't expose one's failings. If only love didn't leave a nasty taste in people's mouth (try Scope! and brush your tongue). If only we could live each day like it was our last, we'd never need to buy a calendar again.

"My Love For You Has Turned To Hate"--Hank Williams: Well, this is a rather blunt way of putting it. Bi-Polar disorder was not always clearly recognized back in the 1950s when Hank Williams was making his way through the country music world, so it was only right of Hank to try and shed light on this often ignored topic and get people talking. Fred Flintstone, it should be noted, was also known for his abrupt mood shifts, his ability to hate Barney Rubble one moment and forsake him for Joe Rockhead only to realize that Barney was his one true pal. Fred could've been a spokesman for bi-polar disorder, but, alas, he is not real.

"The Breakup Song"--Greg Kihn: For a song called "The Breakup Song" and therefore perfect for this column, I don't actually know if this is about any kind of breakup. The only part of the song I know is the "They don't write 'em like that anymore," which I take to be a complaint about sinking literacy achievements in popular song. To which I'd like to suggest that Mr. Kihn sit down with some fine albums of modern day folksingers where people like Freedy Johnston (remember him?), Shawn Colvin and tons others have if anything overwritten their songs to such a literary degree that you can't even sing them anymore. But then maybe this song is about something else altogether. Who cares? Just hum along with the bum-bum-bum part. It's more fun when you don't have to think.

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