It must be said that this special preview from Ozzy makes me feel like Moses carrying down the Big Guy's Top 10 Commandments. Except Ozzy was courteous enough not to write them on a bunch of heavy rocks!
Since Ozzy is a man of few words (or at least ones I can understand), I've written little explanations on what these entries could possibly mean. Now I really feel like a disciple. Hmmn, what could the great man be thinking? Let me start and my own church and decide.
I'm assuming he went 1 to 10. But then I'm not real adept at the British numerical system. But I try!
Saving Abel record." Jeez, Ozzy would send you to hell just for thinking such a thing!
2) Black Label Society - Order of the Black: Ozzy is nothing but a loyal dude. There was a reason he worked with Zakk Wylde and it wasn't just because he was from New Jersey! Ozzy's always had the good taste to work with distinctive guitar players. And, unlike Bruce Springsteen, has largely avoided saxophone players just out of principle.
Motorhead - The World is Yours: To Ozzy, Lemmy is practically a kid. In a sense, they grew up together, in a world that didn't give them very good reviews, until it did. Remember, the guys who sit in the back of the class always stick together. The ones who don't die in a lonely motel room go on to great things!
4) Slash - Slash: This is why Ozzy gets paid the big bucks. I didn't even realize Slash made a record this year. But then one look at Slash's super-fancy website and I can see why. It's one of those visually intensive websites that are very confusing on the eye. And I am easily confused. Slash, of course, was once the guitar player in Guns N' Roses, back when they made records more than once every two decades. And has participated in Velvet Revolver, a band of G n' R ex-pats, and music documentaries where people get to hear him speak.
Halford - Made of Metal: Ozzy's showing some pretty strong allegiances to his old school brethren. Judas Priest's Rob Halford has been working stages all over the world for decades while most of us have been picking Doritos out of the couch. For those of you who find it quite a shock that Rob Halford is made of metal, I refer you to Judas Priest's track, "Electric Eye," where he told us, among other things, "I'm made of metal." Next album: My Circuits Gleam!
6) Korn - III: Remember Who You Are: Surely the fact that Korn includes guitarist James "Munky" Shaffer had something to do with Ozzy's choice. And probably the idea that the band reunited with their original producer Ross Robinson who "manned the boards for their first two records" (man, I love ad copy!) Or maybe, Ozzy chose them because he finds these guys A-Maize-Ing! (The guy at Yahoo's New This Week is surely getting nervous now!)
Pantera - Cowboys from Hell (Reissue): For those of you who were worried that Ozzy might try to sneak in that Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers' Damn the Torpedoes reissue or that $117 Springsteen box, you can rest assured that Ozzy stuck with Phil "Snow In San" Anselmo's group, who, with this release, changed the definition of metal, cowboys and hell! Refudiate this one, buddy!
8) Lamb of God - Hourglass Box Set: This box set is listed as "The Ultimate Lamb of God Collection," "celebrating 15 years of pure American metal." (Remember, ad copy doesn't lie!) It also comes in five different packages. So I assume Ozzy voted for this set so he could convince the record label to send him a free copy. I mean, that's how us "writers" do it!
Firewind - Days of Defiance: This group of Greek metallists features Ozzy's current guitarist Gus G. Here's a chance to hear why Ozzy handpicked Gus G to carry on the tradition set forth by Tony Iommi, Randy Rhoads, Jake E. Lee and Zakk Wylde. Gus G in his "natural habitat." Just think, somewhere in a junior high school right now sits the guitarist who will tour with Ozzy Osbourne in 2020. Remember, kids, keep those grades down!
10) AC/DC - Iron Man 2: Ozzy must like these guys. Not only are they a classic hard rock band who have soldiered on where others have fallen asleep, but they contributed their music to the movie soundtrack of a film called Iron Man, which as astute and even lazy Black Sabbath fans should know is the name of one of Sabbath's greatest tunes. When Ozzy sang, "I am Iron Man," only a complete fool would try and tell him he wasn't. To think, Paul McCartney once dared to write a song called "Magneto and Titanium Man." Yeah, Macca. Where's that franchise, now?