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Ten Songs With A Positive Message

List Of The Day

So many songs are about trying to destroy relationships, your life or the government, but here are 10 songs to help you clarify your goals and direct your anger. They are pro-capitalist songs that will punish the weak and encourage the strong. Remember, if you see a steamroller coming your way, RUN!

10) "Taxman"--The Beatles: Leave it to George Harrison to write songs like "Don't Bother Me," "If I Needed Someone" (IF?) and this straight-forward critique of having the government take away all your money. Geez, George, just move to France like all the other British tax exiles!

9) "Emotional Rescue"--The Rolling Stones: Speaking of which, the Rolling Stones salute the powers of capitalism with this wonderful tune where Jagger will be your "knight in shining armor coming to your emotional rescue." That armor signifies bucks!

8) "Material Girl"-Madonna: It's always best when we know what something costs, so there are no hidden surprises. You pay extra for the brand name. Madonna ain't no discount store.

7) "Kill For Peace"--The Fugs: We all want peace and sometimes it's really important that we kill to get it. Just no fighting in the war room, as Peter Sellers would gladly tell you.

6) "Kill The Poor"--The Dead Kennedys: Now, here's a sound argument. Even people who profess to like poor people don't want to pay for them. I mean, why did they choose to be poor in the first place? My request was obviously lost in the mail. What's your excuse?

5) "Another Brick In The Wall, Pt. 2"--Pink Floyd: "We don't need no education / We don't need no thought control." Finally! A song promoting home schooling where you can teach your kids to be as weird and ill-informed as yourself.

4) "The Greatest Love Of All"--Whitney Houston: Let's face it, Whitney ends up with Bobby Brown, living the crazy life and in a sense it all began with this call to Ayn Randian narcissism. Selfishness is good, after all. So give me everything and let me love myself till the morning comes.

3) "It's Money That I Love"--Randy Newman: In the original version, Randy says a half-pound of cocaine, a 16-year old girl, a long black limousine on a warm September night may not be love, but it's alright. This is for everyone who watched Up In The Air and thought that Clooney character was on to something!

2) "It's Money That Matters"--Randy Newman: So many people try to gloss over these basic truths. How many athletes say it's not about the money and then sign to the team that offers the most money? Yeah, if an athlete can figure out that basic principle, why does everyone else have so much trouble grasping it?

1) "Money (That's What I Want)"--Barrett Strong: Welcome to America! Where we don't gasp at the Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous or Cribs, we think "Hey, if I could invent a contraption that automatically picked up everyone's garbage, I could be rich, too, and own a mansion full of worthless junk and that big blonde wife that comes with it." (Actually, Randy Newman explained the big blonde wife theory in "It's Money That Matters" but it still applies to all generic stereotyping.)

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