Reality Rocks - Archive

American Idol Results: Hot And Cold

Lyndsey Parker
Reality Rocks

So after a typicallyterrible group performance of Katy Perry's"Hot & Cold" that left me, well, cold (please, Idol producers, do not make the contestants warble the phrase "PMS" ever again!), RyanSeacrest wasted no time in sending Lil'Rounds through to the top 12 tonight. Well, duh.

Lil' seemeda lil' surprised herself--butfrankly, nobody else was. Lil' Roundswas probably the only of last night'scontestants that was considered a bona fide shoo-in. The other two slots were still very much up up for grabs.

The nextresults announcement was equally unshocking: The elimination of Arianna "TheLoser Does Not Take It All" Afsar. The Abba-mangling also-ran barely evenblinked upon hearing the news, and went straight back to her stool.

TaylorVaifanua seemed equally unfazed by her own subsequent elimination. Guess Taylorand Kara DioGuardi will never get that chance to go shopping together, afterall.

Then it wasjudgment time for the unabashedly dorky Alex Wagner-Trugman. In aresponse to Ryan's question aboutany possible regrets over last night'sweird, growly performance, AWT then made someadmirable and brave-faced comment about how he'drather lose while being himself than win while trying to be someone else.

Well, guess what? Alex got his wish: He lost whilebeing himself. Yes, Alex was cut as well. Now he really knows why they call it the blues.

Next Ryancalled up country cutie Kendall Beard and blind guy Scott McIntyre. Sorry ifthat's a dismissive and overly simplisticway to describe the two, but hey, such depictions are apt: Kendallis a cute country girl, and Scott can't see. Well, apparently America'sviewers were too blinded (pun intended this time) by their sympathy, becausethey voted Scott through.

And I saw red!

Okay, inScott's defense, he himself doesn't seem to be trying to exploit his disability--butthe show's producers are suremilking this angle for all it's worth, andthat annoys me to no end.

Come on, now...Scott far and away was not one of the best singers last night.This belief of mine was re-confirmed when he reprised his "MandolinRain" performance tonight and sounded just as off-key as I remembered. Butapparently his inspirational triumph-over-adversity saga--as told and retold invarious feelgood montages cobbled together by producers who must have workedfor the Lifetime network at some point in their careers--was enough to win overmillions of voters.

Will it be enough to keep Scott in the competition for weeksto come? I sure hope not. This guy'snot getting a high-five from me.

Anyway, famousfrenemies Nathaniel Marshall and Kristen McNamara were called up together next,and they had another chance to bond when Ryan jointly told them that they wereboth eliminated. Just like that.

I wasn'tthat bummed about Kristen being cut, but my heart broke for Nathaniel. I'll dearly miss him and his funny jazzercise movesand sparkly headbands. Hey, Nathaniel, if you'rereading this: I'll be your karaokebuddy any time.

ScreechyVon Smith and better-than-expected Joanna Pacitti replacement Felicia Bartonwere eliminated next. I felt bad for Felicia--here she got another chance, only tohave it snatched away from her again--but then again, she never expected tomake it this far in the first place. At least this way she got to sing formillions of TV viewers once. As for Von, I was delighted that my poor batteredeardrums would be spared any more crazy cranked-to-11 Von vocals in thefuture. (Or so I thought/hoped...more on that later...)

And so itcame down, in the end, to Ju'NotJoyner and Jorge Nunez. My vote was for Ju'Not,whose soulful rendition of the Plain White Ts'"Hey There Delilah" was a highlight for me last night, but I knew hedidn't stand a chance against Jorge.

And I was right. Jorge got all emotional again, crying and babbling in Spanish when he heard the news that he'd made it,and I must admit his reaction was endearing. I couldn'tbegrudge his victory. But I was still sad to see Ju'Notgo.

It was a happy/sad night for me, really. I was happy that I'D PREDICTED ALL THREE WINNERS CORRECTLY THIS WEEK (no, that was not a capslock error; I just want to gloatingly point this out), but sad that my predictions, not my personal picks, were the ones that made the top 12.

Oh well, what's done is done, time to watch For The Love Of Ray J now...

Wait, what's this? Ithought that was the end of the show. But no. Ryan then announced that theeight eliminated singers competing on tomorrow night'sbonus wild card episode would be revealed TONIGHT! I crossed my fingers withcirculation-cutting enthusiam and prayed for the swift and just reinstatementof Ju'Not, Nathaniel, and a fewother of my favorites from this season.

But then, Ifound out that Von Smith was among the wild cards. Egad! I'd just gotten rid of him five minutes ago, and hewas already back to make my life, or at least my ears, miserable all overagain.

And then I found out that TATIANA DEL TORO was coming back.

Noooooooo!!! Why must Idol torture me so? Tatiana was cryinglike a baby hyena upon hearing the news, but I was the one who really felt like crying.

Please tell me this is some horrible, horrible nightmare from which I will soon wake to joyously learn that the real wild cards thisseason include Jackie Tohn, Nathaniel Marshall, and Norman Gentle!

No, alas,this is not a dream. This is not the 1985 season of Dallas. Von and Tatiana are really back, people--at least for anothernight.

There were a few wild cards I was psyched tohear about, like my girls Megan Joy Corkrey and Jasmine Murray (Megan shouldhave NEVER lost out to Kris Allen, and Jasmine fumbled last week but was greatduring the Hollywood rounds), and of course the awesome Anoop Desai (who should havenever been trumped by Michael Sarver).

But I still don'tquite understand what the judges see in picks like Ricky Braddy (good voice butdishwater-dull), Matt Giraud (his Coldplay cover was quite uncool), or JesseLangseth (did her famous brother Jonny Lang call in a favor to the Idolproducers?). Maybe the judges have been dipping into Paula's pill bottle lately or something...

So tomorrownight--while I'd like to see Megan,Anoop, and Jasmine take the final three slots--here'sthe entire wild card list that'll battle it out:

 

RickyBraddy

Megan JoyCorkrey

Anoop Desai

Matt Giraud

JesseLangseth

Jasmine Murray

Von Smith

Tatiana DelToro

 

Tune in tomorrowto see just how wild it gets!

 

 

 

 

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