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‘Dance’ Eliminations: Don’t The Door Hit You On The Sass On Your Way Out!

Lyndsey Parker
Reality Rocks

There were whole lot of last dances going on last night, when contestants on both So You Think You Can Dance and America's Best Dance Crew were eliminated. Overall, I'm pretty OK with the viewers/SYTYCD judges' joint decision last night on who to send home...and I'm frickin' THRILLED with the results of this week's ABDC2. So let's get right to it...

First, on SYTYCD, the bottom three couples were Cheslea & Thayne (again), Comfort & Chris (again) and Kourtni & Matt (AGAIN!). Sure, I was delighted that for once Jessica and one my favorite male finalists, Will--who performed a fabulously boogie-feverish disco routine on Wednesday's episode--were spared. As were two of my other favorite couples, Mark & Chelsie (whose quirky, emotionally charged, Tabitha & Napoleon-choreographed contemporary routine to Leona Lewis's "Bleeding Love" was bloody amazing) and Katie & Joshua (whose Latin number was so Hot Tamale-hot hot hot, it nearly seared a hole through my TV screen).

And I was totally fine with Chelsea and Thayne being in the bottom--I knew they would be, since their assigned dance this week, the quickstep, has often been the quick undoing of many a SYTYCD couple. Plus, Chelsea and Thayne didn't quickstep all that well. They didn't quickstep it up, so to speak. It was more like a quickmisstep. So I had a feeling they'd be told to quickstep off.

OK, OK, enough with the quickstep puns. Like I said, Chelsea and Thayne's spot on the chopping block was well-deserved and much-expected; Nigel Lythgoe had even warned them on Wednesday to "get your solos ready." Chris and Comfort's poor placement was a little more of a bummer for me. True, their African jazz routine wasn't the best of Wednesday night--it lacked the real edge, rawness, and ferocity that choreographer Tyce Diorio probably envisioned--but they, it featured tattered loincloths, Adam Ant warpaint, and bowel-rumbling, bass-heavy Marilyn Manson music! At least it was interesting!

Even more interesting--and more undeserving of being in the bottom--were Kourtni and Matt this week. They danced completely freaky-deakily to British electro-rock duo Hot Chip (who rule, by the way; do seek out their music HERE). It was a totally twisted routine conjured up by mohawked guest choreographer (and Annabella Lwin-from-Bow Wow Wow lookalike) Sonya Tayeh, and they killed it. So why did America want to kill them off--just when Kourtni was finally given a routine that truly showcased her dark dance arts?

Judging from this week's SYTYCD votes, I guess American viewers are easily spooked. Oh, they don't mind a "weird" dance if it's nice-weird (like Mark and Chelsie's routine this week, or classic Mia Michaels numbers like "Park Bench" and "Flowers"). But they don't like scary-weird. Apparently Comfort & Chris and Kourtni & Matt scared off many voters.

Well, the judges aren't so easily frightened. So they wisely kept on my two fave girls, Kourtni and Comfort. It was Chelsea and Chris that got sent home, which means for the first time this season, the assigned couples have been split up. Comfort and Thayne will be paired up next week, and that ought to be interesting.

OK, on to America's Best Dance Crew. Last week I posted a long, angry, Andy Rooney-esque rant about SassX7, the pageanty pep squad that stole the much more deserving Distorted X's rightful spot on ABDC2. Well, I'm pretty much dancing on air now...because yes, I am happy to report that although I didn't agree with all of America's decisions regarding SYTYCD, I 100 percent agreed with ABDC2 viewers' decision to give SassX7 a big ol' Sass-whuppin'.

And the judges agreed too: They sent SassX7 back to their sorority house this week!

You know, it bums me out that SassX7 were even selected by the judges to compete on ABDC2 in the first place. Like last season's Femme Five, they're just a bunch of hotties who lookegood high-kicking in booty shorts. Sure, they got some praise from the judges last night--during an ABDC2 episode on which the crews drew inspiration from famous music videos--because they dropped the cheerleader act anf hooched it up for Britney Spears's "I'm A Slave 4 U." But I didn't think that was so amazing. They just flipped their haired around a lot. So what? I could go down to my local strip club and see the same thing.

So yeah, obviously I'm pleased that SassX7 are gone. They were giving all-girl crews a bad rap. Where is this season's Fysh 'N' Chicks, huh?

Well, at least the awesomely estrogen-powered dancers in my two favorite ABDC crews this season, A.S.I.I.D. and Fanny Pak--as well as SYTYCD competitors like Kourtni and Comfort--are still on the air to remind viewers that female dancing is not all about cheerleader girliness and/or slutty bumps and grinds learned off Carmen Electra's latest strippercize home DVD. These are the laydeez with the balls to hold their own against any male dancer out there.

You go, girls. Meanwhile, the girls in SassX7 can just go, period.

Check out SassX7's exit interview here

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