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Everybody Cut Footloose! Crosby Loggins Wins ‘Rock The Cradle’

Lyndsey Parker
Reality Rocks

So last night MTV aired the finale of its rockstar-offspring "talent" show Rock The Cradle, on which Crosby Loggins--son of Kenny--snagged the $100,000 grand prize.

Congrats, Crosby.

Crosby was certainly the rightful winner of the Cradle title, considering that the champ on this show also got a record deal and, presumably, a legit chance to follow in those mighty big parental footstep.

Sure, Jesse Blaze Snider (oft-mohawked rocker son of Twisted Sister's Dee) and Chloe Lattanzi (certifiably psychotic spawn of Olivia Newton-John) made for better (read: trainwreckier) TV. But of the final three, good old credible Crosby was the contender with the best chance of actually making it on a major label. And probably the only one of the three that any major-label exec would want to even bother dealing with, to be honest.

However, although Crosby tried to savor his victory and solidify his star status with performances of the Bravery's "Believe" and the Raconteurs' "Steady As She Goes"...not-so-steady third-place contestant Chloe managed to totally upstage him with her "I Honestly Love You" duet, featuring her visibly uncomfortable, hopelessly devoted mama Olivia.

Because let's face it, nothing makes for better/trainwreckier television than overly collagen-injected Chloe simulating a Sally-style orgasm on the floor, while her overly Botoxed mom sits on a throne attempting to salvage whatever's left of her once-innocent '70s soft-rock ballad. It's probably a good thing that all that Botox kept Olivia relatively expressionless throughout this eye-gougingly fascinating duet debacle. Because gawd knows what the woman was really thinking.

So happy Mother's Day, Chloe and Olivia. And once again, congratulations to Crosby.

Watch Chloe & Olivia's Bizarre Duet
Watch Entire Finale

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