Reality Rocks - Archive

Lil’ Kim Is A Freakshow, Baby Baby, On The Dance Floor

Lyndsey Parker
Reality Rocks

Queen Mafiosa rapper Lil' Kim, with song titles like "How Many Licks?" and album titles like Hard Core, has always flaunted a seductive image. The Notorious K.I.M. just oozes straight-up, streetwise sexiness. The girl can't help it; it's just who she is, like it or not.

Of course, I assume many male Dancing With The Stars viewers this season like it...a LOT.

I mean, this here's a woman who probably looked like a flaming hottie when she was wearing a flaming-orange prison jumpsuit during her one year and one day of incarceration. So it was inevitable that she was going to look off-the-charts, over-the-top sexy once her famously curvy physique was barely covered up by the dental-floss-flimsy costumes that the lovely ladies of DWTS tend to wear onstage.

Of course, sexiness in a dance competition is hardly a bad thing. Viewers of guilty-pleasure flicks like Dirty Dancing and Lambada: The Forbidden Dance (or of the guilty-pleasure TV show Dancing With The Stars, for that matter) will readily agree that boogie-ing and bawdiness often make wonderful and natural dance partners--especially when it comes to sultry styles like the samba and salsa.

But this week when Lil' Kim and her DWTS partner Derek Hough executed a routine in a far less traditionally sexy dance genre, the waltz, judge Bruno Tonioli wasn't all that turned on. (Surprise! I wonder why?) In fact, Bruno told Kim: "You try to be a lady, but you're more comfortable being a tramp."

Wow. Here was an episode on which America's sweetheart, Melissa Rycroft, nearly suffered a Janet Jackson-style wardrobe malfunction--but it was Kim who came under attack for vulgarity. I know sometimes Kim really pushes the boundaries of taste, but on Monday night I think it was Bruno who went too far. His comment was nasty and uncalled-for.

Unfortunately, Kim's latest music video, "Download"--which actually features Derek in a cameo role--probably isn't going to change Bruno's mind about her trampy image. It's basically an ode to cybersex, with lyrics like "it's like a orgasm every time he send a text," "he wanna explore me like the Internet," "he wanna kiss my sexy lips and download me on his floppy disk," and "he wanna put me on his hard drive."

And the video somewhat disconcertingly depicts goody-goody golden boy Derek working up a thirst while surfing for racy Kim pics on the Web (and even more disconcertingly, it depicts a tween boy excitedly dancing around his own computer as he hits up Kim on her over-18 MySpace).

Oh well. Why should appearing on a family-friendly show like DWTS make Kim change her wicked, wild ways? She's a freakshow, baby baby, on the dance floor--and in her music videos as well. And that's just how I like her, no matter what Bruno says.

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