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Lisa Vanderpump’s ’80s Video Past Makes Her the Raddest Real Housewife Ever

Lyndsey Parker
Reality Rocks

Sure, several Real Housewives--Kim Zolciak, Melissa Gorga, Countess LuAnn, Danielle Staub--have released pop singles, with varying degrees of success and listenability. But none of those reality wannabes possess one shred of the pop cred that can be claimed by "Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills" starlet Lisa Vanderpump. Why, you ask? Oh, no big whoop...she just happened to play the femme fatale in ABC's iconic "Poison Arrow" video, that's all.

Do not be tardy for this '80s party. Watch "Poison Arrow" now:

With a slightly Bond-villainess-esque (and actually quite '80s) surname like "Vanderpump," clearly Lisa was born to play the role of Samantha, aka the mink-swathed, lipstick-addicted, enormous-bouffanted video vixen who in "Poison Arrow" seduced ABC's metallic-tuxedoed heartthrob Martin Fry, blew some sort of white 1983 mystery powder all over him, and then cruelly trapped him under a man-sized martini glass while mouthing the immortal words, "I care enough to know I could never love you." Ouch. Surely a cattier line has never been uttered by a Real Housewife before or since.

But wait, there's more! Since the '80s were an age of general excess, rampant music-video experimentation, and over-amibitious/ill-advised artistic choices (this was the era of KISS's Music From The Elder rock opera, Duran Duran's sci-fi concert movie Arena, Styx's Kilroy Was Here, Nigel Lythgoe's The Apple, Paul McCartney's Give My Regards To Broad Street, David Bowie's Jazzin' For Blue Jean, and the Village People's Can't Stop The Music, after all), ABC actually starred in a Julien Temple-directed, full-length spy-caper film, Mantrap...from which "Poison Arrow" is just a tantalizing excerpt.

So watch Lisa, at the time a 22-year-old big-haired bombshell, make her onscreen debut as Samantha in the Mantrap scene below. Maybe money can't buy you class, as "RHONY's" Countess LuAnn once warned...but hanging out with Martin Fry in exotic 1980s supper clubs is pretty darn classy, if you ask me.

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