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Nashville Star: Third Town’s Second Rejection

Lyndsey Parker
Reality Rocks

Last week, I officially declared my favorite Nashville Star contestants to be Third Town, Coffey, and Melissa Lawson.

And this week, as host Billy Ray Cyrus announced the names of the surviving finalists, he kept ticking each of the top 11 off his list...until there were just three names left.

Yep, you guessed it. They were Third Town, Coffey, and Melissa Lawson.

So, was today Opposite Day or something? Was America watching a different show last week? I was--and still am--utterly baffled by these results.

Now, I'm not sure if these were the actual bottom three, or just the last three names called to keep us guessing, since Melissa seems to be a sure frontrunner (if recent message board activity is to be believed). All I know is, when those three were the last three standing, I was barely standing myself. I was shaking in my cowgirl boots.

And then when Billy Ray announced that Coffey was safe, I was crying in my beer, country-saloon-style.

Not because I don't love me some hot Coffey, mind you. But because I knew at that moment that my boys in Third Town were goners. And I think they knew it, too. I mean, when I interviewed the contestants backstage at the Nashville Star premiere taping, the guys in Third Town themselves have told me they predicted Melissa was the "one to beat."

So they must've known they weren't going to beat her.

I was especially annoyed because this week Justin Gaston, the underwear model (and last week's weakest link), made it through. Huh? I mean, yes, he is good-looking and all, but this ain't America's Next Top Male Model here. This is Nashville Star. All the finalists should be singers who don't sound better with the mute button ON, you know? But hey, I bet Jewel, his new mentor on the show, was happy she got to work with him.

Her fellow judge John Rich even (hopefully jokingly) accused her of making out with Justin during their mentor sessions, and it was hard not to notice how mooney-eyed she got while watching him sing. Watching her openly ogle him, I started to fear that there'd be some Paula Abdul/Corey Clark-style scandal on NStar this season. I also feared they're be a "Dear Jewel" breakup letter waiting for her from her beau Ty Murray when she got home to Stephenville. But anyway, let's cut to the chase: Justin did a countrified version of the Plain White T's song "Hey There Delilah" tonight, and he was awful.

Hey there, viewers: Stop voting for this dude!

Last week, I also predicted that Allyson Gilbert would be cut this week. And hey, whaddya know, I was wrong about Allyson, too.

Yep, the prissy pageant queen with the crazy axe-murderer eyes was also safe this week. Allyson was also lousy last week. Even John Rich wanted her to go home. But now John was stuck having to mentor her. Oh well. He actually must be a great apt mentor, because I must admit, Allyson was much improved this week. She warbling the Police's "Every Breath You Take," and she kept the Miss America posing and Marty Feldmann-style eye-bugging to a minimum, thank gawd. And the minimal amount of wild-eyedness she did exhibit was forgivable, as it sort of complemented the stalker theme of the song, weirdly. If I was her ex, watching her intone this tune, I'd be a little skerred right about now...

So anyway, it came down to Melissa and Third Town, and Third Town were unsurprisingly the first to get voted off by the public. The public who GOT IT WRONG.

Well, Third Town were never supposed to be on the show in the first place--they were alternate contestants, brought in at the last minute to replace Charla Corn when she had to drop out the night before the show's premiere.

So in a way this is Third Town's second rejection, and I suppose they should be glad they even got to perform on live TV at all. I just wish they could have stuck around a little longer, because they were different and fun and interesting. And Little Tone barely even got a chance to show off his shaggy new David Cook-style makeover! It's not fair!

And I really, really wish Third Town's overcautious mentor Jeffrey Steele hadn't talked them out of performing "Bohemian Rhapsody" tonight. If they'd done that song, they really would've gone out with a BANG. And they'd be all over YouTube for at least a week! Oh well.

I'm too sad to blog anymore, so I'll just leave y'all with this final Third Town shoutout and call it a night:

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