Reality Rocks - Archive

New Favorite Show Alert: ‘Married To Rock’

Lyndsey Parker
Reality Rocks

I'm sure that many rock 'n' roll purists will be more peeved about the fact that there's a new E! reality show featuring Duff McKagan from Guns N' Roses/Velvet Revolver, Billy Duffy of the Cult, Billy Idol axeman Steve Stevens, and Jane's Addiction guru Perry Farrell than they were when they found out last week that Motley Crue's Vince Neil is going to compete on "Skating With The Stars." But resistance is futile, rockers: As I've said before, eventually, pretty much all musicians sign up for reality TV. We all might as well accept it. And besides, the title of this column is Reality Rocks, so I for one am thrilled that there's a show out now that truly combines those two loves: reality TV and rock 'n' roll.

Yes, people, I am officially obsessed with a new reality series called "Married To Rock."

"Married To Rock" follows the glittery and gawdy lives of the above-mentioned rock legends' significant others, who with their peroxide-blonde extensions, copper-colored spray tans, and various surgical enhancements are only distinguishable from typical central-casting "Rock Of Love" contestants by the diamonds on their ring fingers. In fact, I imagine this series is how that "Bret Michaels: Life As I Know It" family show might have turned out if Bret had actually settled down with Heather from "Rock Of Love" Season 1.

The two most made-for-TV rock wives of the "Married To Rock" pack are Etty Farrell, Perry's ex-dancer wife and occasional Satellite Party bandmate, who spends much of this show's premiere episode fending off the drunken advances of a friend who blithely assumes she and Perry are swingers; and Josie Stevens, Steve's silicone-stuffed bride whom he met at L.A.'s adult toy store the Pleasure Chest, and who sort of looks like what might result if Lady Gaga and JWoww not-so-immaculately conceived a baby in the middle of a Sanrio store. (Actually, Josie just kind of looks like Bret Michaels' Season 2 reality castoff, Daisy De La Hoya). Josie spends most of the first "Married To Rock" episode attempting to distract Steve from on-the-road groupies with a series of X-rated iChats.

The show is utterly fascinating, like a rock 'n' roll edition of the "Real Housewives" franchise. So thank you, E!, thank you, for the Sunday-night guilty-Pleasure (Chest) television.

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