Reality Rocks - Archive

“Pants On The Ground”: The New American Idol Smash!

Lyndsey Parker
Reality Rocks

Every once in a while, a new American Idol viral hit is hatched. There was Renaldo Lapuz's "We're Brothers Forever," Milo Turk's "No Sex Allowed," and of course William Hung's "She Bangs" cover, for instance.

But not even Renaldo's repetitive brotherly love anthem was as catchy as 62-year-old  General Larry Platt's new musical rant against baggy-trousered B-boys, the instant classic "Pants On The Ground," which debuted on tonight's Atlanta auditions Idol episode and instantaneously made "#PantsOnTheGround" one of the top Twitter trending topics of the night. This song is clearly the best thing to happen to the belt industry since the invention of the beer-bottle-opener belt buckle, as well as the best thing to happen to television since the invention of TiVo:

Everybody, now:

Pants on the ground
Pants on the ground
Lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground
With the gold in your mouth
Hat turned sideways
Pants hit the ground
Call yourself a cool cat?

Lookin' like a fool
Walkin' downtown
With your pants on the ground 
Get it up!

Hey! Get your pants off the ground!

I am outraged that the Idol producers didn't waive the under-28 age limit to allow this ageless musical genius to advance to Hollywood Week and perform "Pants" as a duet with Larry's fellow flamboyant auditioner Skii Bo Ski. And if the producers don't invite the General to the season 9 finale to reprise this brilliant performance (complete with a chorus line of pants-sagging backup dancers, naturally), I will be even more outraged. It turns out the man is a veteran of Martin Luther King Jr.'s civil rights movement (see more details here), so the man deserves respect.

One more time, people, just for kicks:

Pants on the ground
Pants on the ground...

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