Reality Rocks - Archive

Suggested Job Positions For Adam Lambert

Lyndsey Parker
Reality Rocks

Rumors are running rampant that after performing with Queen at last week's American Idol finale, Adam Lambert (who actually sang "Bohemian Rhapsody" at his Idol audition) may be considered as Queen's new frontman. Please note that this is not a job offer that was made to Kris Allen, who was totally upstaged by Adam during the aforementioned Queen finale performance, nor was it made in season 5 to Ace Young, who deeply annoyed Queen guitarist Brian May with his attempt to ruin "We Will Rock You."

Anyway, this news of a possible Lambert/Queen collaboration is extremely exciting for me, since I personally compared Adam to the late, great Freddie Mercury months ago. But it remains to be seen if Adam will accept the Queen position. Remember, Chris Daughtry turned down a similar post-Idol job offer from Fuel--who wanted Daughtry to be their new lead singer after being impressed by his rendition of their song "Hemorrhage (In My Hands)"--and that turned out to be a wise career decision for Daughtry. Similarly, Adam may be better off on his own.

Really, the best-of-both-worlds scenario would be if Adam could record solo material while still hitting the road every summer with classic rock bands that need his services on the oldies circuit. So here are a few more bands I would love Adam to sing lead for, if the whole Queen thing doesn't pan out...

VELVET REVOLVER - When three-fourths of Guns N' Roses got together with one-fourth of Stone Temple Pilots, I naturally did the math and assumed that at least 75 percent the resulting supergroup, Velvet Revolver, would sound like GNR. But that was not the case, as off/on STP frontman Scott Weiland inexplicably made everything VR recorded sound like '90s grunge. How disappointing! But now, with Scott Weiland out of the band, Adam, whose screechy voice has often been compared to that of Axl Rose, could step in and make this supergroup truly super. We already know Slash is a fan after mentoring Adam on Rock Night ("Adam's got pipes, you know? He's got so much range and it comes so easy--it's like effortless," Slash raved), and judging by Adam's sweet demeanor when dealing with the press or the Idol judges, I have a feeling he'd been easier to work with than Scott Weiland...or Slash's previous bandmate, Axl.

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GUNS N' ROSES - Oh heck, Axl's the only original GNR member left in the lineup anyway, and he doesn't sound or look quite as rockin' as he used to. The current Chinese Democracy-era GNR has, with Axl's revolving-door lineup of hired Guns, pretty much been reduced to being just a really, really good Guns N' Roses cover band. So why not just kick out Axl too, let Adam sing lead, and then they'll be a really, really great Guns N' Roses cover band?

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LED ZEPPELIN - Now, obviously Robert Plant cannot be replaced. This is why when Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones, and Jason Bonham publicly contemplated launching a "reunion" tour without Plant last year, the band's fanbase reacted with, well, outrage and outright disgust. It didn't help matters that among the singers auditioning for Zep were hacks like Myles Kennedy of Alter Bridge. (Since Alter Bridge was basically Creed without Scott Stapp, Myles was basically a Scott Stapp stand-in. And a Scott Stapp stand-in standing in for Robert Plant was NOT a good idea!) Anyway, if Led Zeppelin ever insist on going through with their Plant-less touring plans, Adam would be a far more suitable singer for the gig. Zeppelin gave him special permission to perform "Whole Lotta Love" on American Idol (a first for the show), and despite fears from many (including Slash) that Adam would have difficulty pulling off such a venerable classic, it turned out to be, in my opinion, THE best performance in Idol history. I'm pretty sure Myles Kennedy wouldn't have done as fine a job.

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JOURNEY - Sure, Arnel Pineda--the uncanny Steve Perry-soundalike Filipino singer that Journey guitarist Neal Schon discovered on YouTube--is a fine Journey replacement singer. He actually sounds SO much like Perry, it's easy to believe he's lip-synching to the original Escape recordings. But does he have the charisma and stage presence of Adam? No. And as evidenced by the American Idol cast's "Don't Stop Believin'" group number some weeks ago, Adam has absolutely no trouble hitting those Perry-patented high notes (that "streeeeeetlight, peeeeeeople, oh-oh-ooooooooooohhhhhhh" line was specially set aside for him). Idol judge Randy Jackson used to play bass for Journey, too, so surely he could facilitate an introduction here.

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THE DARKNESS - The day the Darkness died was a sad day indeed. Unitarded frontgod Justin Hawkins had some sort of nervous breakdown in 2006 and vowed to quit the music biz forever, while the remaining members regrouped in the totally un-fun, un-catsuited, un-'80s, un-awesome band Stone Gods. Justin's since returned with new band Hot Leg, but the Stone Gods guys, who have their workmanlike bass player (not even their original bass player!) singing lead, need to rechristen themselves as the Darkness II and hire a real over-the-top singer, like Adam, to rock the mic. Surely Adam can nail all those old Hawkins dog-whistle notes, and he can probably fill out a catsuit nicely in the process.

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FISCHERSPOONER - This NYC electroclash ensemble puts on amazingly theatrical, Kabuki-theater-meets-Vegas-style live shows, complete with multiple costume changes, troops of robot ballet dancers, and retina-scalding visual effects. There's only one problem: Male diva Casey Spooner lip-synchs. He doesn't even try to hide this (unlike, say, Paula Abdul), sometimes stopping and rewinding the playback mid-song on a whim. This is all very campy and in the spirit of fun, but I can only imagine how much more amazing a Fischerspooner concert extravaganza would be with Adam at its colorfully strobelit center. Sure, the band would have to change its name to Fischerlambert...but I think I could live with that.

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