Reality Rocks - Archive

The Likes Of Corey Feldman

Lyndsey Parker
Reality Rocks

This week on A&E (the once-credible network whose initials once stood for "Arts" and "Entertainment"), Corey Feldman--the saner and stabler of the two Coreys--serenaded his co-dependent wifey Susie with this heartfelt ballad:

 

I'm just going to be nice and assume that Susie had tears in her eyes because she was genuinely emotionally moved, not because she was being humiliated on basic cable as her husband grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and screamed Andrew WK-style in her face.

Or because her husband's lyrics included the following Pulitzer-worthy gems:

Springtime flowers bloom
Air of mystery

You bring the stars up to the moon
But when you leave you're gone too soon

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-nah yeah!
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-nah hey yeah!
Do-do-do do-do-do I love you! I really love you!

Man, that pap is worse than the words to David "Magic Rainbow" Cook's "Time Of My Life." But hey, such sentiments came straight from the heart and brain of Corey Feldman.

Anyway, in a Best Week Ever-immortalized scene earlier in this week's Two Coreys episode, Corey The F recruited some baldheaded pro songwriter/arranger to help him craft this lilting love ballad as a Valentine present to his wife. And I'm utterly convinced that the chromedomed hack-for-hire was Geoff Byrd from the Likes Of You, one of the first bands to be eliminated from the first (and only) season of the Fox flop The Next Great American Band.

I was pretty much the only person who watched The Next Great American Band (I blogged about it incessantly and obsessively, but that didn't seem to boost its ratings). So I don't expect 99 percent of the people reading this blog to recognize Geoff. But here is his band the Likes Of You during their brief time on NGAB--including a snippet of them performing their original song, "Love & Gravity," which suprisingly had real hit potential:

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Does anyone know if this is the same guy who was on The Two Coreys this week? Because if it is, then obviously Geoff saves his best material for his own band.

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