Reality Rocks - Archive

Tila Tequila: So Fresh & So Clean!

Lyndsey Parker
Reality Rocks

Yes, we all know Tila Tequila is one dirrty girl. The MySpace cewebrity starlet spent much of her MTV dating show A Shot Of Love With Tila Tequila spanking, whipping, tongue-wrestling, lapdancing, and otherwise humiliating her many reality-TV suitors. And she spent much of her "Stripper Friends" music video spanking, whipping, tongue-wrestling, and lapdancing various video 'hos, as well as humiliating herself.

But Tila is attempting to clean up her act, people.

For instance, her new video, "Paralyze," opens with relatively PG-13 scenes of her in a shower.

Don't drop that soap, Tila!

And she fondles her chest so thoroughly in the "Paralyze" shower scenes,

she does her viewers a real educational service by showing them how to properly administer a breast self-exam.

Way to give back to the community, Tila!

In all honesty, though, if "Stripper Friends" was a 10 on a standardized skankometer, then "Paralyze" rates about a 7. It's positively Radio Disney-like by Tila Tequila standards.

Like, the bedroom scenes in this video almost seem lifted

straight out of a Snuggle commercial, the linens seem so freshly laundered.

I bet the same CAN'T be said for the germy sheets on the communal bed where Shot Of Love castmates Rebecca and Steven supposedly got it on! Blech...

Surely even virginal Kathleen from Domenico's Shot Of Love spinoff show That's Amore would approve of Tila's scrubbed-up makeover. But listeners may not approve of Tila's song (because let's face it, the Snuggle bear has a greater vocal range than Tila--and he probably raps better, too).

Snuggle up with Tila's new video now, and decide for yourself:

 

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