Reality Rocks - Archive

You Don’t Mess With The Lohan

Lyndsey Parker
Reality Rocks

Not content with ruining (oops, I'm sorry, I mean managing) just one of her daughters' lives, Dina "One Tough Mother" Lohan has now turned her momagerial attentions to her younger, as-yet-uncorrupted meal ticket (oops, sorry, I mean daughter): poor little Ali Lohan.

And she's chronicling Ali's career trajectory from 14-year-old, freckle-faced innocent to firecrotched rehab resident/tabloid target on her new E! reality show, Living Lohan.

I smell an Emmy!

Anyway, according to the E! website, Ali is "outspoken, beautiful beyond her years [editor's note: um, that sounds a little pervy], a bit of a rebel...she's the girl young teens look up to when they've outgrown Hannah Montana. She's determined to achieve success--but she's savvy about the pitfalls of fame."

Well, that all sounds fine and good, but judging by this Christmas song recorded in 2006 by a heavily ProTooled Ali, I think Dina has her work cut out for her:

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However, Ali also portrays a younger version of her elder sister in Lindsay Lohan's presumably autobiographical family-drama video, "Confessions Of A Broken Heart (Daughter To Father)," and her acting skills seem to be pretty decent here:

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Then again, just like it probably wasn't very challenging for Eminem to play a white Detroit rapper in 8 Mile or for Courtney Love to portray a smacked-out nutjob in The People Vs. Larry Flynt, it probably wasn't too much of a stretch for Ali to take on the all-too-familiar role of the traumatized spawn of completely dysfunctional stage parents.

So, will Living Lohan be as exploitative and sensationalistic as "Confessions Of A Broken Heart"? Or as trite and ho-hum as "Christmas Magic"? Stay tuned. Or, don't.

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