Stop The Presses!

2007 Grammy Nominations In!

Lyndsey Parker
Stop The Presses!

Hey, remember when the Grammys used to actually be interesting? Ol' Dirty Bastard bumrushed the stage. Boy George shocked all of middle America by (gasp!) admitting he was a drag queen. Bob Dylan's performance went mysteriously awry thanks to a shirtless, chest-painted rabblerouser named Soy Bomb. Jennifer Lopez wore a cut-down-to-there dress held together with little more than double-sided tape and hope. Elton and Eminem embraced. Alice Cooper and Lita Ford were forced to present a Best Hard Rock/Heavy Metal Performance to Jethro Tull.

All moments we gathered around the watercooler to gab about the day after. All moments we remember long after we forgot about who won what.

However, the Grammys have become pretty dull lately. Consider the fact that the most memorable Grammy moment of the last few years came courtesy of a hologram (Madonna) and a fake cartoon band (Gorillaz). That's kind of depressing. But next year's Grammys may be different, as a couple of real flesh-and-blood nominees will hopefully be on hand to stir things up!

Yes, the nominees have been announced, and leading the pack are Kanye West (eight nominations) and Amy Winehouse (six)--both of whom are known for their unruly awards-ceremony behavior. Kanye pulled an Ol' Dirty Bastard and bumrushed the 2006 MTV Europe Awards stage when he lost out to Parisian electro duo Justice; plus he's always outspoken (who can forget how he freaked out Mike Myers with his unscripted George Bush comments on that Hurricane Katrina telethon?). So if he does win at the Grammys this time, expect a few loose-cannon acceptance speeches. Even if he doesn't say anything shocking or controversial, given what's going on in his personal life (the tragic death of his mother, which has caused him to break down onstage lately), you know any Grammy victory for him will be an emotional one.

However, Kanye faces a quandary in the Best Rap Song cateory, as he is nominated twice, for "Can't Tell Me Nothing" and "Good Life." So does that mean if one of those songs wins, he'll still be mad because the other song lost? If so, maybe he can split into two personalities and bumrush his own speech...

Meanwhile, tabloid-baiting, rehab-rejecting Brit diva Amy Winehouse may not even attend the Grammys--she cancels appearances so often that bookies actually take bets on whether or not she'll show up to her concerts, and with her husband Blake Fielder-Civil in jail, she's called off her entire tour. And of course, when she does make a public appearance, the results are as mixed as her everpresent drinks: She's been booed offstage recently for being in slurry, blurry shape, and she was such a hot mess at the 2007 MTV Europe Awards that it wouldn't have been a surprise if Kanye West had jumped onstage for a second year in a row--this time to protest her performance. But if Amy shows up at the Grammys, she'll be interesting no matter what condition she's in. So let's hope when her handlers try to make to go to the Grammys, she doesn't say no, no, no.

Yep, it's going to be an exciting Grammy ceremony next February. Set your TiVo now!

All right, in the meantime, we have a couple months to ponder the nominees in the major Grammy categories. Here goes:

Amy Winehouse - "Rehab"
Beyonce - "Irreplaceable"
Foo Fighters - "The Pretender"
Rihanna - "Umbrella"
Justin Timberlake - "What Goes Around Comes Around"
VERDICT - "Umbrella" has a great shot (it was probably this year's most inescapable song). But Amy will probaby still win this by the skin of her gold-capped and/or missing teeth, because in a year of Britney, Lindsay, Issiah, etc., how can "Rehab" NOT be considered THE anthem of 2007? Amy clearly had her skinny, alcohol-palsied finger on the pulse this year, and she deserves recognition for that.
Foo Fighters - Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace
Amy Winehouse - Back To Black
Vince Gill - These Days
Herbie Hancock - River: The Joni Letters
Kanye West - Graduation
VERDICT - This one has to go to Kanye. But make sure 50 Cent is around to bumrush the stage when Kanye wins, just to the add to the fun! 
Amy Winehouse - "Rehab"
Corrine Bailey Rae - "Like A Star"
Carrie Underwood - "Before He Cheats"
Plain White T's - "Hey There Delilah"
Rihanna - "Umbrella"
VERDICT - Once again it really comes down to Rihanna, the "good girl gone bad," versus Amy, the bad girl gone badder. That's a catfight the Grammy producers could probably air on pay-per-view for a handsome fee! But we all know Amy is a feisty one who could take on pretty much anyone in a fight, so she should win again here.
Amy Winehouse
Taylor Swift
VERDICT - Stupid question, but who's Ledesi? Oh, does it matter? Amy's going to win this. But kudos to the Grammy judges for loading up this category with females this year. Girl power!

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