Stop The Presses!

April 14-21: News So Exciting, We Can Barely Restrain Ourselves!

Lyndsey Parker
Stop The Presses!

Another week, another restraining order. Yep, the last seven days have generated all sorts of disorder-in-the-court headlines, so let's get to it before the celebrities in question slap a restraining order on That's Really Week to stop all our smack-talkin'...

First, the temporary restraining order against Britney Spears's disreputable former (mis)manager, Sam Lutfi is still in place, until at least July 31--which is undoubtedly good news for Brit, who recently reunited with her ex-Svengali Larry Rudolph, the man who oversaw her rise to megafame in her B.F. (Before Federline) years. See, when Larry's not serving as a judge on the MTV talent show Rock The Cradle, he's apparently doing a decent job spearheading Spears's long-awaited, long-delayed "comeback." Along with securing her a plum guest-starring role on How I Met Your Mother a few weeks ago, Larry nudged Britney back in to the recording studio this week, and got her training with vocal-coach-to-the-stars Ron Anderson (a man who's worked with the likes of Anthony Kiedis, Chris Daughtry, Avril Lavigne, Bjork, Pink, Shania Twain, Usher, Tori Amos, and, um, Paris Hilton and Paula Abdul).

OK, judging by the latter two names, Ron Anderson is no miracle worker. But maybe Larry Rudolph is. He does seem to have his on/off client's derailed career back on some sort of track, at least. Let's just hope that Larry gets that Sam Lutfi restraining order extended indefinitely...AND that he keeps Britney off the road, since--speaking of derailings--she was involved in yet another fender-bender last weekend.

In less upbeat restraining-order news, Deborah "Debbie" Gibson--who, along with one-named-wonder Tiffany, sort of paved the way for later teen-pop starlets like Britney--has filed for a temporary restraining order against a man she claims has been stalking her for the past six years.

Deborah claims that self-declared "Debhead" Bassas Jorge Puigdollers showed up at her L.A. home out of the blue last weekend, leaving a note on her doorstep and then actually knocking on her door 30 minutes later. Deb called 911, Bassas was detained by LAPD officers, and an emergency protective order was quickly issued. Wow, this sort of gives creepy new meaning to Debbie's 1980s hit "Shake Your Love," huh?

Another late '80s/early '90s chart-toppper (and precursor to Britney's former husband, K-Fed), Vanilla Ice, also found himself at the center of a restraining-order battle this week--although in his case, he was the one who allegedly needed to be restrained. The artist occasionally known as Robert Van Winkle was arrested this week after reportedly hitting, kicking, and shoving his wife. The Iceman was then put on supervised release without bond and ordered to keep away from Mrs. Ice (Laura Van Winkle) for the time being. "I love my wife and I know she feels bad about this," the novelty rapper told the judge.

Vanilla's agent, Wes Kain, told reporters outside the Palm Beach Court that the incident was "a misunderstanding." And Rob (whose oxymoronically titled Best Of Vanilla Ice was reissued this week) later posted the following statement on his official website: "I love my wife and my family. We have been together for 14 years. Every now and then there is a bump in the road just like in most relationships, unfortunately mine is made public, and the media has a way of twisting things around. Don't believe what you hear. When I got out, we hugged and made up. We just want the whole thing to go away. My family means the world to me and I would never hurt anyone."

However, this is not the first time the Cool As Ice star has apparently lost his cool. In 2001, Rob was arrested for purportedly grabbing his wife's hair during an argument, but the case was dropped. And as anyone who's watched his temper tantrums on the reality shows The Surreal Life, Remaking, and Celebrity Boxing knows, the Iceman IS capable of some pretty major meltdowns.

Yet another '80s musician veteran facing legal troubles this week was Bon Jovi axe-slinger Richie Sambora. Richie was arrested March 25 in Laguna Beach, California, for allegedly driving drunk with his 10-year-old daughter Ava in the car--and this week, police recommended that he be charged with child endangerment. However, at this time, the evidence is still being reviewed and prosecutors have not yet made a decision regarding the rocker's charges.

In lighter possible-legal-action news, Jay-Z might want to consider taking out a restraining order on Noel Gallagher when he and Noel's band Oasis play England's Glastonbury Festival in June. But Noel will probably want to stay 100 yards away from Jay-Z regardless. See, apparently Noel isn't too happy that Jigga is headlining the venerable rock 'n' roll fest, and is in fact blaming Jay-Z for Glastonbury 2008's unusually low ticket sales.

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it. If you break it, people ain't gonna go," the famously cantankerous Britpopper complained to the BBC. "I'm sorry, but Jay-Z? No chance. I'm not having hip-hop at Glastonbury. No way. No. It's wrong."

Glastonbury organizer Emily Eavis later rebuffed Noel's remarks in The Independent newspaper, saying she thought Jay-Z was "absolutely the right act" for the festival, and that rap acts like Cypress Hill and the Roots have graced Glastonbury stages in the past. "There is also an interesting undercurrent in the suggestion that a black, U.S. hip-hop artist shouldn't be playing in front of what many perceive to be a white, middle-class audience...this is something that causes me some disquiet," she remarked.  

Oh, come on, Noel--don't look back in anger!

And finally, Ashlee Simpson might want to take out a restraining order against the paparazzi, whom she sings about so disparagingly in her current single, "Outta My Head." Last week the press was all over the announcement of her engagement to Fall Out Boy rocker Pete Wentz--which she confirmed on the social networking site FriendsOrEnemies.com--and this week the media was obsessively hounding "Little Miss Obsessive" over reports in People and Us Weekly that she and Pete are expecting a little baby fall out boy or girl of their very own. So far, the punk/pop It Couple have so far denied all pregnancy rumors.

And thus concludes another week of positively unrestrained music news. Make sure to come back next Friday for more headspinning headlines, and until then, goodnight and good music.

THIS WEEK'S TOP 10 STORIES:

1) A Fall Out Boy...Or Girl? - Rumors run rampant that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are expecting a baby.

2) Britpop Vs. Hip-Hop - Noel Gallagher of Oasis isn't happy that Jay-Z is headlining Glastonbury.

3) Off-Keys - Alicia Keys claims she was misquoted in a controversial Blender magazine interview.

4) She Just Can't Shake His Love - Debbie Gibson files a restraining order against an unwanted admirer.

5) Slippery When Drunk - Richie Sambora may be charged with driving under the influence and child endangerment.

6) Move Over, Ozzfest! - Motley Crue are hitting the road with their own "Crue Fest" package tour.

7) Addicted Again - The full, original Jane's Addiction lineup with reunite for the first time in 17 years at next week's NME Awards USA.

8) Restrain Me Baby, One More Time - The temporary restraining order against Britney's ex-manager seems to be becoming permanent.

9) Springsteen Says Obama Was Born To Run (For President) - Bruce offically backs Barack.

10) Not So Nice Nice, Baby - Vanilla Ice is arrested after a domestic dispute.

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