Oh, we kid, we KID!!! Seriously, it seems like in the case of her nuptials, which reportedly took place last week, Beyonce was more than happy to go unnoticed. She and her man have in fact never officially acknowledged that they're even an item, after all. So naturally, they did their best to keep their supposed wedding (which they still have not confirmed actually took place) on the DL.
And when crates of cream-colored orchids and oversize silver candelabras were seen being carried by crew members in to Jigga's Manhattan penthouse--followed later by celebrity party guests like Kelly Rowland, Chris Martin, and Gwyneth Paltrow--it seemed pretty probable that wedding bells would soon be ringing as well.
Well, despite the swarms of reporters and lookieloos camped outside Jay-Z Tribeca loft, and Perez Hilton actually posting the wedding's ADDRESS on his blog, it looks like B & J managed to have a relatively low-key "secret" wedding anyway. So congrats to the (alleged) happy couple!
No wedding date has been set yet, and Pete--who has his own clothing line, somewhat ironically titled Clandestine--offered no details about what Ashlee would wear on their special day.
Anyway, we here at That's Really Week are hoping these two crazy kids will waltz to the Dead Milkmen's "Punk Rock Girl," exchange his 'n' hers facial piercings in a pagan ceremony, and dress all their bridesmaids and groomsmen in custom-ordered Hot Topic formal wear. Now that's a wedding we'd camp out on the street to witness! So let's hope Perez Hilton posts that address when Ash and Pete's big day arrives.
In other "Pete" news, British rocker Pete Doherty--who at one time was reportedly "secretly engaged" to supermodel Kate Moss, until she came to her senses--has finally had his pale, skinny behind shipped off to jail.
Pete's solo show at London's Royal Albert Hall on April 26 has subsequently been postponed, and his appearance at the Love Music Hate Racism benefit on April 27 has been cancelled as well. But any frequent Doherty concert ticket-holders probably are quite familiar with U.K. venues' refund policies by now--after all, the guy flakes on almost as many public appearances as his unreliable British female counterpart, Amy Winehouse. But Pete is still hoping to be sprung from the slammer in time for the Glastonbury Festival in June.
And finally, on the subject of legends...congratulations to Bob Dylan, who received an honorary Pulitzer Prize this week for his "profound impact on popular music and American culture, marked by lyrical compositions of extraordinary poetic power."
And thus concludes another amusing and bemusing week in music news. Come back next Friday for updates on all the latest weddings, awards, arrests, and fests, and until then, goodnight and good music.
THIS WEEK'S TOP 10 STORIES:
1) Ashlee Simpson's "Boyfriend" Is Now Her Fiancé - She's officially engaged to Pete Wentz.
2) Dreamgirl Gets Her Dream Husband? - Beyonce has reportedly tied the knot with Jay-Z.
3) Pete In The Pokey - British rocker Doherty is locked up for (surprise!) drug offenses.
4) Knockin' On Pulitzer's Door - Bob Dylan is the first rock artist to win a Pulitzer Prize.
5) Sweet Charity - The stars come out for the Idol Gives Back fundraising event.
6) Kylie's Confession - She reveals on Ellen that her breast cancer was initially misdiagnosed.
7) Toni Braxton Trying To Easily Breathe Again - The R&B star cancels shows after a health scare.
8) Partying Like It's 1999 At Coachella - Prince is confirmed to headline the Coachella festival on April 26.
9) A Diddy D'oh! - The Los Angeles Times officially retracts its erroneous Diddy/Tupac story.
10) Radioheadliner - Thom Yorke and company top the just-announced 2008 Lollapalooza lineup.
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