Stop The Presses!

August 30- Sept. 6: Expect The Unexpected!

Stop The Presses!

Here at That's Really Week we've long been enamored of the Man Bites Dog journalistic principle--that is, when every celebrity in the world gets in scandalous trouble, more of the same simply isn't news. However, when things that don't normally happen happen--hey baby, you're on to something!

And so this week brings us several unexpected tidbits, not least of which was the unusual scenario wherein a famous musician's relative told the world to stop making that musician famous! Unheard of, but true in the case of Amy Winehouse--whose father-in-law suggested the world boycott Amy's records to send a message to the troubled tattooed temptress. Of course the week began in typically scandalous Winehousian fashion--after...yawn... the UK press ran some pictures of the singer and her new husband bloodied and bruised after a hotel fight--but the very idea of a family member putting human concerns above financial? Now that's news!

Likewise, Keith Richards--the Rolling Stone who has been the butt of more jokes about near-deathdom since General Franco was alive 'n' kickin'--raised eyebrows last week when he actually wrote a letter protesting a Swedish newspaper's harsh review of his band's performance there! "This is a first," the 63-year-old co-author of "You Can't Always Get What You Want" wrote in his letter. "Never before have I risen to the bait of a bad review." Let's give the man props for rising in the first place, say we!

In another sure sign that world as we know it is traveling downward in a very large handbasket, a student filed suit last week against rapper Lil' Wayne for allegedly being trampled at his recent concert at Morgan State University. Lawsuits? Par for the course! But what's unique here: The woman contends she suffered her injuries after the rapper or members of his entourage threw money into the audience!  I don't know about you, but the last time I was at a concert where money was thrown from the stage--was it during the recent Police tour, when Sting started hurling bundles of bearer bonds into the orchestra pit?--at least I knew what I was getting into and wore appropriate headgear!

Finally, sending a message that the Man Bites Dog notion isn't ours alone was the charming headline accompanying this week's story about rapper DMX's ongoing legal struggles: "SUBSTANCE FOUND IN DMX RAID NOT DRUGS," blared the headline! Many of us here at That's Really Week were betting among ourselves precisely what that substance might be; among the guesses were paper towels, a turkey sandwich, Vicks VapoRub, a banana, a basketball, plutonium, and a Lord Of The Rings DVD! We'd like to say we were all wrong, but according to reports, Arizona instigators are still "looking into" what the substance was.  One hates to be crass, but one hopes the rapper isn't a closet nose-picker!

 

THIS WEEK'S TOP 10 STORIES:

1) Father-In-Law Knows Best: "Don't Buy Amy's Albums"

2) Poor Review Riles Keith Richards: Stones Vs. The Stockholm Monster!

3) New Britney single due: Song, not baby, defenders note  

4) Lil' Wayne Sued By Concert-Goer: Throwing good money after bad

5) Whitney Houston, Bobby Brown custody battle: Pair once made records, some note

6) Questionable "Substance" Found In DMX Raid: Animal? Vegetable? Mineral? It's unclear

 7) Faith Hill Joins The NFL: In a manner of speaking

8) CBGB Founder Hilly Kristal Dies: Historic venue birthed punk rock, albeit sloppily

9) Jennifer Lopez Inks TV Production Deal: 15-year-old girls to figure prominently

10) George Strait, Brad Paisley Lead Pack in CMA Nominations: Award show slated for Nov. 7th

written by Dave DiMartino 8/31/07

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