Stop The Presses!

Feb. 19-26: Lindsay, Madonna & The Monroe Doctrine

Stop The Presses!

There are stars and, as always, there are STARS--and last week saw two well-known attractive female celebrities being linked to a third who apparently outranks them both. The mega-mega-celebrity in question would be none other than actress Marilyn Monroe, a famous good-looking blonde who helped define the archetype we now live with comfortably. As do both Lindsay Lohan and Madonna, themselves renowned for both good looks and occasional blondeness as well!

Everyone's favorite Lohan caused a stir when pictures of the young lady posing as Marilyn M. in a "less than fully clothed" state caused a temporary meltdown of New York magazine's website, which couldn't handle the apparently heated demand. Currently in the midst of shooting a "tango-filled romance" called Dare To Love Me, the colorful star of I Know Who Killed Me--er, are these movie titles or cries for help?--Lohan reportedly has yet another new album in the works that is said to have a "hip-hop vibe." Don't they all? Lindsay's mom put it all in perspective when asked to defend her daughter's photo shoot fun: "She's on the cover of a respected magazine. How can that be a bad career move?" We agree, Mom!

Stepping back another generation in Marilyness, a Las Vegas man thought he'd found a gold mine upon discovering a photo of a "less than fully clothed" female hitchhiker among items he'd been storing in his house. The woman in the picture--smoking a cigarette, wearing high heels and carrying a handbag--was clearly Marilyn Monroe, he maintained, and the photo itself must've been left by a customer at his gas station way back in 1962! Sadly, however, after actually "alerting the media" to his find, he discovered the subject of the unique pic was really Madonna, taken many years later, and that the photo itself had been included in her award-winning 1992 book Sex!  "If there ever was an embarrassing moment," confided publicist and questionable "Monroe expert" Chris Harris after the truth emerged. Frankly, we're more taken by the sheer newsworthiness of the headline that topped this account we read: "Vegas man confuses Monroe and Madonna." In further news, Vegas man regrets getting older and can't find his car keys!

The lure of the silver screen continues to attract other music makers as well: Justin Timberlake, now fully recovered from his unfortunate Pepsi-sponsored fire hydrant collision, will be starring as a minor league baseball player in The Open Road, which started shooting in Louisiana this week. Status-conscious music critics noted Timberlake's "minor league" association was something of a redundancy, but--if it keeps him away from the recording studios--"perhaps a blessing in disguise!"

More intriguing was the naked ambition voiced by Sean "Diddy" Combs, who'll be appearing this Monday night in ABC's film version of Raisin In The Sun. He's already appeared in Monster's Ball and Made, but now the record producer impresario has come right out and announced it: He wants to move to Hollywood and become a real live movie star! Saying that and more on Late Night With David Letterman, Combs memorably elaborated: "Yeah, leading man kind of stuff, jumping off of buildings." Either Mr. Diddy wants to be the next Spiderman or he liked The Virgin Suicides too much!

Speaking of Spiderman and making an artful transition, here's where we'll note that Dave Grohl and his buddies in the Foo Fighters have sued Marvel Studios for allegedly using their music in a teaser for an upcoming animated series about Wolverine and the X-Men without asking permission. Both Wolverine and the X-Men had no comment, as they are fictional characters and thus cannot speak.

In other exciting rock news, Irish rockers U2 are back in a Dublin recording studio preparing to make yet another album, again with producers Daniel Lanois and Brian Eno, who tend to make all that stuff sound compelling. "We're going to try and break new sonic ground and deliver a masterpiece," Lanois announced, which one hopes is not some sort of strategy change. The report noted the possibility of not one but two albums emerging from the upcoming sessions. "There's so much material," said Lanois. "When you get Eno and I and those guys in the room, before lunch there's like eight things." Rockers the world over are united in hoping those "things" are not sandwich orders!

Finally, a Finnish medical study published Wednesday contends that listening to music can help people recover more quickly from strokes--though from all accounts the strokes in question are not from New York, do not make records, and find jokes like this to be completely sophomoric. Tough luck, dudes! You're public figures!



1) Lindsay Lohan Hot Internet Commodity -- Lohan as Marilyn crushes magazine server

2) Britney's Buddy Further Restrained -- Judge orders Sam Lufti restraining order extended one month

3) Marilyn Or Madonna? -- Photo confusion embarrasses all of mankind

4) Justin Makes A Movie Move -- Timberlake to star in "minor league" baseball flick

5) Diddy's Quest For Film Stardom -- Great "jumping off of buildings" quote, more!

6) U2 Back In The Studio -- New album is anticipated result!

7) Foo Me, Foo You Blues --Dave Grohl & company sue Marvel Studios

8) Pink and Husband Split -- Party now officially stopped

9) Great White At It Again -- Five years after the fire

10) Real Musical Therapy -- Stroke victims helped by song, study finds


View Comments