Stop The Presses!

June 8-15: Glambert Comes Out, Glam-Rocker Bret Michaels Gets Knocked Out

Lyndsey Parker
Stop The Presses!

Many would not even consider the news of American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert's long-awaited/long-expected confirmation of his homosexuality to be "news" at all, since certain widely circulated, Bill O'Reilly-criticized leaked JPEGs of Adam smooching other boys in drag tipped the Internet-proficient public off to this somewhat obvious fact several months ago. But Adam's provocative Rolling Stone interview--complete with that sexy, sooty-eyed "trouser snake" cover photo--nevertheless topped headlines this week. Say what you will about Adam, but this is one savvy star who knows how to keep people (from the most devoted Glamberts to his many equally passionate haters) talking.

Perhaps more surprising, and newsworthy, than Adam's actual acknowledgment of the "pink elephant" in the room were his other expletive-riddled confessions in Rolling Stone--having to do with his drug dalliances, his wild European-travel escapades, his decision to audition for Idol while attending the psychedelic desert festival Burning Man, and even his past crush on Idol winner Kris Allen, among other shockers.

One might assume that Adam's latter confession might make things a little uncomfortable when the two former Idol roommates and supposed BFFs, occasionally known as Kradam, bunk up together again on the Idols Live tour bus starting next month. But married, heterosexual, good-humored Kris took the news of Adam's unrequited man-crush in his characteristically laid-back stride, telling People: "I'm flattered. And think it's hilarious." (As do we!)

Meanwhile, another glam-rock reality star, Bret Michaels, had his own shocker--deemed hilarious by many, actually--when his band Poison rocked out live at the Tony Awards. During a medley of performances that included Poison doing "Nothin' But A Good Time" from the '80s-metal musical Rock Of Ages, Bret was whacked on his bandanna-swathed head by a descending set piece, resulting in a busted lip, fractured nose, most certainly a very bruised ego. Before the Tonys broadcast was even over, the incident was the joke heard 'round the Web, with YouTube loops of the mishap being IM'd and Facebooked at lightning-quick speed, and even Tonys emcee Neil Patrick Harris quipped on-air that Bret "gave headbanging new meaning."

Spokespeople for the Tony Awards were quick to report that Bret was unharmed, and even blamed Bret for the accident, saying he "missed his mark" and implying that he'd grandstanded onstage for too long. But Bret later denied this, saying on his website (which also featured somewhat disturbing, bloody photos of Bret's facial injuries): "First, I thought, 'what mark?' as there was no official mark, just a retracting drum riser and an overhead prop being rapidly lowered which was out of my view."

Bret's publicist also expressed disdain over how Tonys officials reacted to the accident, somewhat justifiably stating: "I feel had this incident happened to [fellow Tony Awards performers] Liza Minnelli, Dolly Parton, or Elton John, the Tonys would have at least issued a letter of concern."

However, in the end Bret, like much of America, was able to see the undeniable comedy here. He blogged, "I am trying to remain very positive and somewhat humorous about the whole situation," and recalled the surreal post-accident backstage scene thusly: "Somebody handed me a towel to wipe the blood from my face and in my dazed state I recall staring at what seemed to be Shrek, a talking goat head, and several monkey-like creatures." (Sounds like the cast of an '80s Poison video, actually...)

In other gender-bending news, it was revealed this week in Us magazine that Cher's out-and-proud lesbian daughter, Chastity Bono, is undergoing a sex change, transitioning from female to male, and will from now on be known as Chaz Bono. "Yes, it's true--Chaz, after many years of consideration, has made the courageous decision to honor his true identity," publicist Howard Bragman told Us. "He is proud of his decision and grateful for the support and respect that has already been shown by his loved ones. It is Chaz's hope that his choice to transition will open the hearts and minds of the public regarding this issue, just as his 'coming out' did nearly 20 years ago. We ask that the media respect Chaz's privacy during this long process, as he will not be doing any interviews at this time."

Meanwhile, amid numerous tabloid reports that pop star/actress Lindsay Lohan had reconciled with her on/off lesbian lover, superstar deejay Samantha Ronson, L.Lo lashed out again TV medical guru Dr. Drew Pinsky of Loveline/Celebrity Rehab fame, responding to controversial comments Dr. Drew made during an interview with Parade. Dr. Drew had said, "I'm really convinced that something horrible is going to have to happen to [Lindsay] before she really gets over it and embraces sobriety. She needs to give it up. And it's going to be a while before she does. I have this image that she's going to lose a limb or something before she does. And it scares me."

This apparently did not sit well with Lindsay, who spoke out as seemingly all un-self-censored celebs do nowadays: on her Twitter page. "I thought REAL doctors talked to patients in offices behind closed doors. Am I wrong?" she tweeted. "Hmmm I think not." As of this writing, Dr. Drew has not directly tweeted back.

Meanwhile, Miley Cyrus and her onetime boyfriend, Justin Gaston, used their own Twitter feeds to publicly address their own recent breakup. Soon after her split from Justin, an underwear model and ex-Nashville Star contestant, the tween tweeted that she was at the movies with another famous ex-beau of hers, Nick Jonas of the Jonas Brothers. "I'm in a dark theater writing a song with nick j who is rockin a faded eggplant shirt! :)" she tweeted giddily.

Was she just trying to make Justin jealous? We're not sure, but Justin's own Twitter posts indicated he was taking the breakup way harder than Miley was. "How many tears are in there? They've gotta run out soon right?" Justin tweeted, adding a forlorn John Mayer lyric: "Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hands?"

Oh, young love is so bittersweet. Or is that bittertweet?

And finally, while Miley and Nick's new post-breakup duet, "Before The Storm," circulated on the Internet (it'll be featured on the JoBros' new album, out next Tuesday), another new song created an even bigger stir this week: Jay-Z's comeback single "Death Of Auto-Tune," an open attack on all the computer-enhanced robot vocals currently dominating hip-hop music.

In the song, Hova complained that he's had enough of the hip-hop scene's current obsession with ringtones, and rhymed that current rap artists are "T-Pain'ing" too much on their singles. But apparently Auto-Tune king T-Pain didn't take offense, as he good-naturedly paid Jay-Z a surprise onstage visit last Sunday, showing up unannounced while Jay-Z was performing "Death Of Auto-Tune" at Hot 97's Summer Jam concert in New York.

And while that particular news item does not mark the death of That's Really Week, it does mark the end of this particular entry. So come back next Friday for more headspinning headlines, and until then, goodnight and good music.

THIS WEEK'S TOP 10 STORIES:

1) Out-And-Proud Cover Boy - "Wild Idol" Adam Lambert officially comes out in the new issue of Rolling Stone.

2) Nothin' But A Bad Time - Poison's Bret Michaels bangs his head, literally and painfully, at the Tony Awards.

3) Introducing...Chaz Bono - Cher's daughter, formerly known as Chastity, undergoes a sex change.

4) Phil Flips His Wig - Spector's shocking bald prison mugshot leaks online.

5) Jay-Z Keeps It Real - Hova slams computer-processed hip-hop vocals in "Death Of Auto-Tune."

6) She's Just Being Miley - Cyrus airs her post-breakup dirty laundry on Twitter.

7) Queen Latifah's Shock Confession - The A-list star reveals to Essence that she was sexually abused as a child.

8) LL Vs. DD - Lindsay Lohan tweets back after Dr. Drew claims she's on a path to self-destruction.

9) Chris Brown Heading Back To Court - His attorney loses a bid to delay his Rihanna assault hearing.

10) Madonna Has Mercy - Mama Madge wins her adoption bid for Mercy, a 3-year-old Malawian orphan.

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