Stop The Presses!

Oct. 22-29: Now Almost 100% Britney-Free!

Lyndsey Parker
Stop The Presses!

So this week a MySpace group featuring former Britney Spears employees, called Be Proactive To Help, has organized a boycott of Blackout, the new Britney CD out October 30. "Let [her record label] know you'll buy her album, but not until she is clean and sober," the group implores. Meanwhile, a concerned reader of this very column, who goes by mysterious name of Pierre C, has reached out to us, begging us to stop writing about Britney. (Yo, Pierre, maybe in France Britney isn't big news, but unfortunately in the good ole U.S. of A., she's still the most searched-for pop star on the Internet.) But you know, Pierre and B.P.T.H. members, we do see your point. So we're going to boycott Britney this week too, and not write about her. Except for, um, this paragraph, that is. D'oh!

All right, let's move on to the rabblerouser who was the second-biggest newsmaker at the recent MTV Video Music Awards, Kid Rock. Whether he's marrying, remarrying, and divorcing Pamela Anderson; making amateur videos with fellow groupie-bagging bad boy Scott Stapp; doling out sage advice to aspiring Caucasian hip-hoppers on The White Rapper Show; or brawling with Tommy Lee at the VMAs, at least Kid is never boring. And let's face it, that Tommy/Kid smackdown was more entertaining, and possibly even better-choreographed, than Britney's VMA performance. Well, this week the self-declared "Rock 'N' Roll Jesus" was back to his old shenanigans, as they say on the street, getting charged with misdemeanor battery after a parking-lot scuffle in Georgia. And the rapper whose first album was Grits Sandwiches For Breakfast was scuffling at...wait for it...a Waffle House! Talk about striking while the waffle-iron is hot, huh? So if you were looking for the answer to WWRNRJ? (What would Rock 'N' Roll Jesus do?), there's your answer: He'd engage in fisticuffs in a Waffle House parking lot at 5:15am. Nice. Man, who will this anger-management flunkie tell to kiss his grits next?

And finally, in other bad-boy-related news, the evolution of 19-year-old Evan Rachel Wood is complete. Sure, she's still known as a great young actress (note her recent star turn in the Beatles-themed Across The Universe), but nowadays she's even better known as the child/corpse bride of much-older, much-creepier bad boy Marilyn Manson. Eek--it's a fate that even Holly Hunter's mom character in Evan's girl-gone-wild flick Thirteen could never have imagined. And while the world scratches its collective head, wondering a) how 38-year-old Marilyn managed woo Evan in the first place;
b) why Evan underwent a complete makeover to become a Stepfordish blonde clone of Marilyn's ex-wife, Dita Von Teese; or c) whether or not Marilyn and Evan were actually making the beast with two backs in Manson's racy "Heart-Shaped Glasses" video (a viral clip nearly as explicit as that Scott Stapp/Kid Rock tape), Evan is following her sinister sweetheart into the rock 'n' roll world. Yes, Evan's getting her own record deal. And we're guessing Marilyn's going to be involved, now that he and Evan have formed one happy Manson family.

All right, that's it for now, but do come back next Friday for more music news, most likely involving Britney in some way (sorry, but it's her album-release week). Until then, goodnight, and good music. 

 

THIS WEEK'S TOP 10 STORIES:

1) Kid Rock Doesn't Waffle - The "Cocky" rocker get arrested after a Waffle House brawl.

2) A Total Britney Blackout - Brit's former friends demand a boycott of the pop star's new album.

3) Fainting With Stars - Marie Osmond collapses on live TV.

4) Porter Wagoner Has Lung Cancer - The 80-year-old counTry legend is hospitalized in serious condition.

5) Fox In The Hole - Jailed rapper Foxy Brown is put in solitary confinement.

6) Leaky Spice - An unreleased Spice Girls song unofficially zig-a-zig-ahs its way onto the Web.

7) Barack Of Ages - Obama's ties to an allegedly homophobic gospel singer causes controversy.

8) Jackie Chan Goes For The Gold - The daredevil actor has recorded the countdown song to the 2008 Beijing Olympics.

9) Another Anti-Christ Superstar? - Marilyn Manson's actress girlfriend, Evan Rachel Wood, is getting her own record deal.

10) No Longer In Shambles? - Babyshambles frontman Pete Doherty has supposed been rehabbed.

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