All right, let's move on to the rabblerouser who was the second-biggest newsmaker at the recent MTV Video Music Awards, Kid Rock. Whether he's marrying, remarrying, and divorcing Pamela Anderson; making amateur videos with fellow groupie-bagging bad boy Scott Stapp; doling out sage advice to aspiring Caucasian hip-hoppers on The White Rapper Show; or brawling with Tommy Lee at the VMAs, at least Kid is never boring. And let's face it, that Tommy/Kid smackdown was more entertaining, and possibly even better-choreographed, than Britney's VMA performance. Well, this week the self-declared "Rock 'N' Roll Jesus" was back to his old shenanigans, as they say on the street, getting charged with misdemeanor battery after a parking-lot scuffle in Georgia. And the rapper whose first album was Grits Sandwiches For Breakfast was scuffling at...wait for it...a Waffle House! Talk about striking while the waffle-iron is hot, huh? So if you were looking for the answer to WWRNRJ? (What would Rock 'N' Roll Jesus do?), there's your answer: He'd engage in fisticuffs in a Waffle House parking lot at 5:15am. Nice. Man, who will this anger-management flunkie tell to kiss his grits next?Evan Rachel Wood is complete. Sure, she's still known as a great young actress (note her recent star turn in the Beatles-themed Across The Universe), but nowadays she's even better known as the child/corpse bride of much-older, much-creepier bad boy Marilyn Manson. Eek--it's a fate that even Holly Hunter's mom character in Evan's girl-gone-wild flick Thirteen could never have imagined. And while the world scratches its collective head, wondering a) how 38-year-old Marilyn managed woo Evan in the first place;
THIS WEEK'S TOP 10 STORIES:
1) Kid Rock Doesn't Waffle - The "Cocky" rocker get arrested after a Waffle House brawl.
2) A Total Britney Blackout - Brit's former friends demand a boycott of the pop star's new album.
3) Fainting With Stars - Marie Osmond collapses on live TV.
4) Porter Wagoner Has Lung Cancer - The 80-year-old counTry legend is hospitalized in serious condition.
5) Fox In The Hole - Jailed rapper Foxy Brown is put in solitary confinement.
6) Leaky Spice - An unreleased Spice Girls song unofficially zig-a-zig-ahs its way onto the Web.
7) Barack Of Ages - Obama's ties to an allegedly homophobic gospel singer causes controversy.
8) Jackie Chan Goes For The Gold - The daredevil actor has recorded the countdown song to the 2008 Beijing Olympics.
9) Another Anti-Christ Superstar? - Marilyn Manson's actress girlfriend, Evan Rachel Wood, is getting her own record deal.
10) No Longer In Shambles? - Babyshambles frontman Pete Doherty has supposed been rehabbed.
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- Waffle House