Stop The Presses!

Oct. 7-14: Britney To Set The Record Straight

Stop The Presses!

In a week loaded with exciting news events--rock bands decrying the use of their music by presidential candidates, long-awaited, mythical albums finally seeing release, world-famous guitar gods popping the question to their faithful publicists--it's reassuring that the really big story is getting the major press focus it deserves.

And that, according to reliable sources at E! Entertainment News, is that...wait for it...Britney still looks "hot"!

Yes, it is something the world been wondering about--aside from that pesky global recession nonsense--and the evidence is apparently there for all to see in the video of "Womanizer," the new single from the artist's upcoming album Circus, due out Dec. 2nd. Word is that a just-shot MTV interview with the star, scheduled to be aired the week of the album's release, lets Britney get in the last word about her rambunctious behavior of recent years: "I sit there and I look back and I'm like, 'I'm a smart person. What the hell was I thinking?'" Spears reportedly says. "I've been through a lot in the past two or three years, and there's a lot that people don't know." We heartily agree on both counts!

Yet another world-famous, young female entertainer who occasionally sings was in the news this week as well. In this case, it's perky Lindsay Lohan, who has requested a legal order barring the filming of her upcoming legal deposition in a case filed by her extremely close friend Samantha Ronson in Los Angeles court. Why? According to a a document filed by her attorneys, because of the "virtual certainty that, unless access is significantly limited, the transcript and videotape of the deposition will be illegally exploited by the media." No truth to rumors that Lohan made the request from her blue kitchen phone after coming back from a nearby 7/11 with a bag of Cheetos, a Diet Dr. Pepper, copies of Glamour and In Style and finding several messages on her answering machine from new friends she'd made the night before at a party! And you should have seen what she got in the mail that day! Oh, er, sorry.

Speaking of new friends, legendary guitarist Eddie Van Halen copped some headlines this week with the news that he'd just asked longtime girlfriend Janie Liszewski for her hand in marriage while vacationing in Hawaii. It'll be the second shot for the guitarmeister, whose previous gig with actress Valerie Bertinelli lasted for eons and was much-discussed in formats precisely like this one. Liszewski, an actress and stuntwoman who served as Van-Halen-The-Band's publicist during their recent reunion tour, assured journalists that the marriage would be a complete sellout in the country's largest stadiums and arenas, that it would be filmed for eventually DVD release, and that the resulting album would be released both in vinyl and digital download form and available exclusively via Wal-Mart and Amazon. Not really, but wouldn't that be great?

Rockers the world over will likely be equally excited to hear that Guns N' Roses' long-awaited album Chinese Democracy has finally received an "official" release date of November 23 and that it will exclusively be available at Best Buy--a retailer with store locations in many neighborhoods, including, with luck, yours! One track from the album can already be heard on video game sensation Rock Band 2, and yet another can be heard during the end credits of the newly released film Body Of Lies. Years in the making, the album was--according to one possibly erroneous report-- produced by Thomas Edison, is dedicated to President Eisenhower, and is available both in a neatly packaged cardboard album of shellac 78s and 8-track tape. Word is the stereo version really rocks!

In the week's inevitable political news, rockers the Foo Fighters were apparently miffed to learn that their track "My Hero" had been used by the McCain campaign to promote their candidate of choice. "To have it appropriated without our knowledge and used in a manner that perverts the original sentiment of the lyric just tarnishes the song," the band said in a statement. It capped a string of unfortunate choices for the McCain camp: Jackson Browne, Van Halen, and John Mellencamp similarly just said no their music's affiliation with the campaign, as did Heart to the linking of their "Barracuda" to veep candidate Sarah Palin. All is not lost for the GOP, however, as Puerto Rico's reggaeton star Daddy Yankee has enthusiastically endorsed McCain and called him "a fighter for the Hispanic community." Mr. Yankee was himself in the news this week for taking on the role as a moderator in a scheduled debate between Puerto Rico's gubernatorial candidates. It's all about getting involved, dude, so good for you!

Finally, those who feel that the world is currently going to hell in a handbasket--as some have opined--will be pleased to know that the recent horrifying headline "Lil' Kim Sued And Silenced" referred merely to her ongoing troubles with a breach-of-contract lawsuit. That's right: She is merely barred from recording any more new material, and in fact is still among the living! Just in case you were wondering. I sort of was, because I believe what I read!

Have a great week!



1) "Who Was That Woman?" --Britney to set the record straight in new MTV interview.

2) No Lights, No Cameras, No Action -- Lindsay Lohan gets legally camera-shy.

3) Eddie, Are You Kidding? -- Mr. Van Halen to walk the aisle once more.

4) You Actually DO Need Another Hero --Foo Fighters just say no to McCain.

5) Democracy In China? -- Nope--in Best Buy, say Guns N' Roses.

6) One Dandy Doodler -- Daddy Yankee embraces moderation, debate-wise.

7) Tell That Girl To Shut Up --Judge bars Lil' Kim from making new recordings.

8) A Match Made In Purgatory -- Ne-Yo and Marilyn Manson, together at last!

9) Appetite For (Guitar) Construction -- Slash to play Les Paul Tribute.

10) Taylor An Indie Rocker? Idol's Hicks readies Album No. 2.

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