Stop The Presses!

Paris Hilton’s Cautionary Techno Tale Of Drunk Texting: Her New Music Video

Tiffany Lee
Stop The Presses!

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When socialites/reality stars and music mix, the outcome is overwhelmingly bad—note Kim Kardashian and Heidi Montag. Paris Hilton, who seemed to have slipped from her hard-partying celebutante throne, is back with a new song and video entitled "Drunk Text".  Seriously.

A dance-y, thankfully spoken word song, Paris recounts the highs and lows of clubbing, drunk texting, and the consequences thereof, from racy photos to the dangers of Twitter. The beat is catchy, the lyrics are hilarious, and the video is truly distills the essence of what it means to be Paris.  Less pop, more Euro, Hilton's new song is a "Stars Are Blind" killer, and is sure to make the rounds at the all-night parties in Europe and South America. A hot, eye-rolling, monotone female vocalist is key to make a hit dance song!

For those of us who have never heard of a cellular telephone, she explains the etymology of "sexting", complete with an easy-to-follow equation. This could be the evolution of Schoolhouse Rock!

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Thanks for clearing that up Paris.

Watch More Paris Hilton Videos On Yahoo! Music

I have to say, I am in love with "Drunk Text". It's ridiculous, and it seems that Paris is finally giving in to her novelty. I can see everything in the song really happening to Paris, but I can't tell if she's taking herself seriously or not. Just take a look at some of the deliciously quote-worthy lyrics:

  • "I was out at the club the other night to, you know, dance with my bitches."
  • "My mouth kept pouring desperate clauses of random intent."
  • "I'm too lazy to type, so I sent a photo I took up a dancer's skirt."
  • "No one is safe in the Twittersphere anymore."
  • "It's a hot mess of misspelled obscenities, body parts, and run-on questions."
  • "She's like, 'this guy wants you to wet your lips with this bottle.'"
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As much as we'd like to imagine Paris feverishly scribbling down the pouty, lewd lyrics on the back of an $8,000 Barneys receipt, the song is actually a remake. Created by DJ duo Bradley Roulier and Shawn Sabo, a.k.a. Manufactured Superstars (who appear in the video), the singer/monologist on "Drunk Text" was originally a performer and fellow blond named Lea Luna. But the irony of a group called "Manufactured Superstars" colluding with Paris Hilton is truly a gift from the humor gods.

Denver-based Roulier and Sabo aren't just some kids off the online street: They've got their vinyl-spinning fingers in the popular electronic music download site Beatport. Roulier is a Beatport co-founder and Sabo is an original member and shareholder. Along with the site they do the superclub DJ rounds at the big annual raves and hotspots in Vegas and Miami. So it's not surprising they had the pull to enlist Paris for the hilariously fitting song.

In the future, I should hope this video accompanies the encyclopedia entry for "celebutante", because it perfectly captures the nightclub fables of Paris Hilton and her well-heeled, seemingly occupation-less cohorts. Watching the blurry editing, gratuitously posed shots, and languid Parisian whispers, you feel like you're living the inebriated VIP life, listlessly accepting shots of vodka from strange men. But the moral of the story? Never, ever drink and text (again).

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This song is certainly filling the DJ playlists of gay nightclubs as we speak, and I wait with bated breath for a drag version of Hilton's video to surface, like the one of Madonna's entire halftime performance.

Watch Paris Hilton and Manufactured Superstars' video "Drunk Text".

UPDATE: Some details about the video has surfaced from Hilton's spokesperson and Manufactured Superstars:

Spokesperson for Paris Hilton:

"We can confirm that the video leaked is not part of Paris Hilton's new album. This video was recorded over a year ago. The first single will be out in a few months, we will let everyone know when it's due for release."

Quote from Manufactured Superstars:

"Paris did this music video as a favor for us, it's not part of her new album.  This is an unfinished rough-cut, which was not ready for release. We're looking into what happened and removing the illegal copies from the web. We've heard some songs from her new record which are incredible and are really going to surprise people."

"Drunk Text" may eclipse whatever pop same-old Hilton planned on releasing on her official album, to be frank. And in my humble opinion, Manufactured Superstars did a favor for Paris not the other way around!

What do you think of Paris Hilton's "Drunk Text" video? Is she serious? Leave your comments below!

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