Anyhoo, whatever series of unfortunate events led to Britney's breakdown, it's clear the girl needs to take a break, period. Maybe we should all heed the advice of YouTube crybaby Chris Crocker and...LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!Tommy Lee and Kid Rock were breaking noses--or at least trying to--when the two ex-husbands of Pamela Anderson came to blows during Alicia Keys's otherwise lovely performance at the VMAs. Some sources say Tommy (who, as of this writing, has quit Motley Crue again) initiated the war of words (and oh, we're sure they were witty, polysyllabic words, indeed) with the nemesis he later dismissed as "Kid Pebble"; however, it was Mr. Rock who landed the first and only punch. That doesn't explain why Tommy was kicked out the Palms while Kid stayed, but it's Kid who now faces six months' prison time on misdemeanor battery charges. You know, Kid Rock has a new album, Rock 'N' Roll Jesus, out soon, and while the age-old WWJD? question gets tossed around a lot, apparently the answer to WWRNRJD? is "act like an anger-management-course-flunking jerkface in front of millions." Sorry Kid, but we're totally Team Tommy on this one. After all, he knew Pammie first. 50 Cent this week offers him a little bit of solace. Wow, if Kanye boycotts MTV, Fiddy retires (which he vowed to do if Kanye beat him in sales), and Britney takes that much-needed hiatus...then who will perform at the VMAs in 2008? Led Zeppelin, who just reunited (read last week's blog for more on that), or the unstoppable Justin Timberlake, who--despite his having to cancel a couple tourdates this week to rest his vocal cords--will undoubtedly still be going strong in a year's time. Not only did JT win three VMAs this week, but he also took home a much-deserved Emmy for his genius Saturday Night Live skit, aka That's Really Week's alltime favorite Christmas carol with the unprintable title. (Sure, some people get a little weirded out when we go singing it door-to-door, but seriously, there's no other holiday hymn that fills us with so much comfort and joy.) You know, with Justin on such an upward career trajectory, we just have to wonder what he was thinking as he watched his onetime Mickey Mouse Club sweetheart completely lose her shiz on the VMAs stage. Because Britney certainly was NOT bringing sexy back.
All right, much like Pamela and Tommy, Pamela and Kid Rock, Britney and Justin, or Britney and the one last shred of cred she had left, we must split. But do come back next Friday for more amusing, confusing, and downright excitement-oozing news, and until then, goodnight, and good music.
THIS WEEK'S TOP 10 STORIES:
1) Oops! She Did Not Do It Again - Britney fails to recapture her past magic at this year's VMAs.
2) Communication Breakdown - 20 million Led Zeppelin fans crash web servers while trying to buy reunion concert tickets.
3) Enjoy Your Retirement, 50 Cent - Kanye West is beating Fiddy in this week's album sales war.
4) Tommy Lee Tries to Get Piece Of The (Kid) Rock - Pamela Anderson's exes brawl at the VMAs.
5) Afterschool Special - Nude pics of High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens crop up online.
6) Divorcing With The Stars - Dancing With The Stars alum Sara Evans's divorce battle hits a real misstep.
7) Justin Timberlake Boxes Up An Emmy - His SNL skit is the Xmas gift that keeps on giving.
8) This Is What It Sounds Like When Websites Cry - Prince is suing YouTube and eBay.
9) Terrorist Leader Not A Fan Of Madonna's American Life - Muhammad Abdel-Al suggests Madge be beheaded for her "Satanic" crimes.
10) Janet Jackson Has Appeal - A U.S. appeals court is set to rule on her Super Bowl "wardrobe malfunction."
- Arts & Entertainment