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Stand Tall, Grammy Nominees!

Stop The Presses!

You kind of knew that this year's Grammy nominations were going to be different than usual when the network TV special devoted to the announcements kicked off with Mariah Carey singing "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)"-—a song co-written by none other than current Los Angeles murder defendant Phil Spector! I mean, how's that for a prime time first?

Have to admit it was quite an opening, especially getting the chance to see Carey not only singing but also show off her skills at stuffed animal tossing. Which, thank goodness, appeared to be much improved from last spring, when she tried to throw out the ceremonial first pitch at a Japanese baseball game - in high heels…


Seriously, though, it was good to see the slumping recording industry getting a chance to glad-hand itself amidst all the economic gloom and doom that they've been well ahead of the curve on for a good number of years. And speaking of curves, it was kind of interesting to see virtually all of the artists who performed on the program doing so while resting their derrieres. First Celine Dion sang Janis Ian's "At Seventeen" while sitting on a stool. (Did you know that the line "those whose names were never called when choosing sides for basketball" is a great inside joke, since Janis Ian is all of 4'10"? Check out her page at, a website devoted to the vertically challenged.)

Then, following diva Dion's lead, Christina Aguilera mangled, er, I mean, "interpreted" George Gershwin's Porgy And Bess classic "I Loves You, Porgy" while also seated. Even Taylor Swift paused for a setee break during her performance of "I'm Sorry," the early '60s hit by Brenda Lee--who, at, 4'9," is even shorter than Janis Ian! And, just to keep things genderly egalitarian, John Mayer played "Let The Good Times Roll" from a semi-reclined position, though in his case he could be forgiven because he was dueting with blues legend B.B. King, who, at age 83, was really the only one of the bunch who actually had a proper excuse for sitting down on the job.

Rumors that all the winners at the 51st Grammy Awards presentations this coming February 8 will be given rocking chairs in addition to their trophies remain unconfirmed at this time.

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