Yahoo! On the Road: What Your Coffee Order Says About You

(ThinkStock)

Are you searing hot with a dollop of syrup? Or are you more on the frothy side with lots of whip?

We're talking coffee orders, naturally. Coffee-shop stops are a must when anyone goes on the road (as Yahoo! has with its spring concert lineup -- click here to find out how to catch the shows), so we got a little curious about what kinds of signals you give out when you order your freshly ground with Haribo peach gummy (yes, it's a thing).

Not All Black and Milky White
The very notion of a coffeehouse is aspirational. In other words, what used to be a five-cent ritual at a diner has become a sign of middle-class affluence, here in the United States, and around the world. Ordering a coffee means you've arrived.

Authors James Moore and Judi James of "The You Code: What Your Habits Say About You" claimed that coffee choices go beyond taste: "With their foam, cream and sprinkle-topped options these drinks have been created to appeal on a much deeper psychological level relating to self-esteem, stress levels and search for the comforts of childhood." The coffee code, paraphrased from "The You Code":

     • Espresso: Instant gratification, a quick hit, "the most grown-up of all coffee options," cynicism, sarcasm, even an aggressive cool hunter. Disdains healthy lifestyles, is moody, and sets high standards, aiming for the leadership position with little time for gossip.

     • Black coffee: No-frills, minimalist, cool adult, prefers one-on-one contact, competitive, quiet and moody, although capable of occasional bouts of extroversion.

     • Latte: Watering down danger with milk and foam, prefers safety, wants to be liked, cutesy but conceivably stubborn inside, avoid direct confrontation and delegates the dirty work, a loyal family person, enjoys comfortable surroundings and gabbing with trusted friends. Sex is more snuggly than extreme.

     • Cappuccino: Optimistic extrovert who appreciates style and nice stuff, although not unduly acquisitive. Prefers to start things rather than see them through with all that dull detail work.

     • Instant coffee: No frills, straightforward, cheery but in no hurry to get things done, which might come across as shallow. Highs and lows come easily; not so adventurous in career or sex, but ponders both.

     • Decaf soymilk: More of an eco-worrier rather than an eco-warrior. For those who aren't allergic to cow's milk, the choice may indicate a faux fussiness with a touch of sincere narcissism.

     • Starbucks Frappuccino (and presumably other frothy whips): It's all about the foam and the froth. Trendchaser more than a trendsetter and, ouch, characterized as a flighty poseur with no sense of irony.

     • Non-coffee drinker: The authors reserve the unkindest cut of all for someone who rejects the black brew as being frightened of life and a child (an insult followed by a perhaps conciliatory section on "What Your Tea Says About You").

Bigger Than a Hill of Beans
Some bean facts, courtesy of the National Coffee Association: More than 8 out of 10 Americans have copped to a cup of coffee in the past year, and half of those brews are gourmet. However, each generation — from the Greatest Generation to GenXers — apparently has been drinking less coffee than the previous one, and the average number of cups per American came to a boiling peak in the 1960s. The top consistent guzzlers among espresso drinkers? Hispanic-Americans.

As for coffee personalities, a 2007 study from a coffee maker listed what Americans would give up rather than forgo the cup of joe, which included morning news in all its forms, lunch, sleep, and brushing teeth. That same study also sketched out five java types:

     • Social drinker (33 percent), who tend to live alone, so coffee break's a community lifeline.

 

     • Comfort lover (14 percent), who just likes warming his or hands on a hot mug.

     • Coffee addict (14 percent), who needs coffee to survive. Intriguingly, those with higher incomes like to call their habits an addiction.

     • Task master (11 percent), usually a younger drinker who needs coffee to focus

     • Coffee gourmet (7 percent). While no age group is given here, younger folks go for the trends as well as flavored and iced coffees, while the older generations want the basic brew.

 

Silly? Sure. True? Who knows. How about giving your favorite order in comments below, and why you like your particular concoction?

undefined

undefined

View Comments (969)
Yahoo Live - A New Live Concert Every Day

Recommended for You

  • Bjork's next music video is made for virtual reality

    Let's say for a moment that the experimental Oculus VR movies that came out of Sundance didn't do anything for you, but that Icelandic songwriters totally float your boat. You're in luck because Björk's ...

    Engadget
  • Norwich Information Security MS

    Online, accredited, top ranked. NSA Center of Academic Excellence. Recognized by the Department of Homeland Security. Download your free brochure!

    AdChoicesNorwich UniversitySponsored
  • The Verge Playlist: Victory for the internet

    We were perplexed by the color of a (kind of tacky) dress, we got emotionally invested in a high-speed llama chase, a new season of House of Cards is on Netflix, and, most importantly, the FCC has officially voted in favor of Title II classification for the internet. Let’s raise our glasses to Tom…

    The Verge
  • Stoner Icons 311 Prepare to Launch Their Own Craft Beer

    Iconic 90's stoner band 311 is getting into the craft beer biz. According to Radio.com, "the Omaha band has teamed up Rock Brothers in Tampa, Fla., and Nebraska Brewing in Papillion, Neb." to create their first brew, which will be an amber ale. Radio.com points out that Rock Brothers has brewed…

    Eater
  • Colombia's Aterciopelados reunites for tour, new recording

    MEXICO CITY (AP) — More than two decades have passed since Andrea Echeverri first took the stage with the band that would take the name Aterciopelados and would become one of the most acclaimed groups in the world of Latin rock.

    Associated Press
  • Play

    12 Flawless Albums That Only Have Great Songs

    12 Flawless Albums that Only Have Great Songs Kind of Blue - Miles Davis Some of its well-known songs are "Freddie Freeloader" and "All Blues," but every track exudes calm and is perfect for relaxing or meditating. Illinois - Sufjan Stevens More than half of the songs are instrumental, but the…

    Wochit
  • Noel Gallagher looks to the future with 'Chasing Yesterday'

    Former Oasis star Noel Gallagher is putting his past behind him, releasing a new solo album, ruling out a reunion with his brother Liam and even being nice about one-time arch-rivals Blur. Liam's post-Oasis band Beady Eye recently broke up as well but he is quick to dismiss any suggestion of a…

    AFP Relax News
  • Every copy of Hot Chip's new album will feature a different cover

    London graphic designer Wallzo, aka Darren Wall, has created album art for the British electro-pop band Hot Chip since 2003, but for their upcoming album, Why Make Sense?, Hot Chip is trying something a little different. Visual artist Nick Relph built an algorithm capable of creating subtle…

    The Verge
  • Country Radio Seminar Closes With Stellar Performances by Sam Hunt, Cole Swindell & More

    The 2015 New Faces Show, which closes the annual Country Radio Seminar, was held Friday night (Feb. 27) at the Nashville Convention Center. Each of the five radio-voted performers definitely brought something to the musical table that was reminiscent of something from the history of the genre.

    Billboard
  • Kid Rock Bashes Beyoncé, Feels Wrath of Beyhive

    Beyoncé's fans are telling Kid Rock to buzz off. On Thursday, the "Born Free" singer told the Rolling Stone that he is "flabbergasted"' by Beyoncé worship. "Beyoncé to me, doesn't have a f**king 'Purple Rain,' but she's the biggest thing on Earth. How can you be that big without at least one 'Sweet…

    ETonline
  • Where to Eat Brunch in Nashville, February 2015

    "Where should we go for brunch?" What hungry, very likely hungover human being has not uttered that six-word phrase on a recent weekend? And who really wants to have to think at a time like that? Well help is here, as we now present you with an updated guide to the best places to eat brunch. It's…

    Eater Nashville
  • Korn Sued by Former Drummer

    Former Korn drummer David Silveria is suing his old band mates for money owed after the band declined to allow the drummer back in the group following a lengthy break. According to TMZ, Silveria sued Jonathan Davis, James "Munky" Shaffer, Brian "Head" Welch, and Reggie "Fieldy" Arvizu in an effort…

    Rolling Stone
  • 5 songs from alt-rock band Wolf Alice you need to hear

    British alternative rock band Wolf Alice is starting to take a turn towards pop. The beginning of Wolf Alice's sound can be traced to the band's first self-titled EP, Wolf Alice, release in 2010. At the time, the band was only made up of two people, Rowsell and Joff Oddie. It’s kind of about kid…

    Vox.com
  • Vince Gill, Eric Church, Keith Urban Lead Star-Studded Universal Music Group Bash

    Country Radio Seminar (CRS), the gathering of radio industry professionals from all over the world, is in full swing this week in downtown Nashville. One of the highlights of the annual convention, which features country artists performing in a wide array of settings both intimate and expansive, is…

    Rolling Stone
  • Big Head Todd & the Monsters Rock on With or Without Albums

    Last year, Big Head Todd & the Monsters released their 14th album, Black Beehive. The album, named for the title track inspired by the late Amy Winehouse, received a four-star rating from the All Music Guide, the band's highest since their 1993 breakthrough album Sister Sweetly. Unfortunately for…

    Live Nation
  • Rock 'n' roll dreams come true for adults at Minnesota camp

    A Minnesota band camp is giving baby boomers and younger musicians a chance to prove they are never too old to rock and roll. Since 2009, Rock Camp for Dads has allowed hundreds of dads — and moms — to ...

    Associated Press
  • Eric Church to Host 'Outsiders' Radio Show on SiriusXM

    Eric Church is the latest country artist to program his own radio show exclusively on SiriusXM satellite radio. The CMA- and ACM-winning singer-songwriter will host the monthly "Outsiders Radio" show on the subscription-based service's country channel the Highway. In addition to delving into…

    Rolling Stone
  • Tool Album Progressing 'Nicely, Slowly,' Singer Maynard Keenan Says

    Tool frontman Maynard James Keenan has issued an encouraging update on the status of the band's next record (via Facebook), saying the group will enter the studio "soon." In addition to sharing the singer's news that the LP's songs are congealing into shape, the band also shared a photo of the...

    Rolling Stone
  • Play

    Manny Pacquiao -- Unretires From Singing ... Records New Song for Mayweather Fight

    Just one month after he swore off singing forever, Manny Pacquiao is UNRETIRING from music to record a brand new song before the Floyd Mayweather fight! Manny hit the studio recently and laid down the tracks for a song whose title translates to "I Fight for Filipinos." Filipino translators tell TMZ…

    Wochit
  • Bjork won't stream breakup album

    Bjork has become the latest among the rare number of pop stars to refuse to stream an album, saying it was a matter of "respect" for artists. Bjork in January suddenly put on sale a digital version of "Vulnicura," a lush and emotionally intense work about the end of her long relationship with…

    AFP Relax News
  • Songs For 'The Dress': A Very Colorful Playlist

    Forget about color, America. Instead, let us all come together and see "The Dress" -- as it is now forever known -- as being half full. So you call me a cockeyed optimist -- or just a poorly dressed idiot -- but here is my colorful playlist for "The Dress" everyone is talking about and…

    Huffington Post